do you mean it??

when worshipping God, do you think about the words you are singing and mean them?? or do you just sing them as if you were singing any old song?? do you sing the words as though they are a prayer to God, prasing him for the almighty, amazing things he does??

lately when ive been worshiping, ive thought about me kneeling down at the cross, looking up at Jesus and singing prasies to him. we sang FACEDOWN on sunday and i really felt God there, i felt quite overwhelmed as i praised and thought about all Jesus has done for me, i really felt his love and grace fall upon me.

i think lately, its been on my heart, when people sing worship do they mean it, and do they live for christ the other 6days a week when they are not at church?? i think back two years ago, if people looked at me would they see christ in me?? its all well and good them knowing im a christian but was i leading a christian life style?? no, but i changed that around, now i am living for christ, im alive for christ, and i pray through me others will come to christ. it is my prayer that il draw people to christ and thats what im intending to do.

Welcomed in to the courts of the King
I've been ushered in to Your presence
Lord, I stand on Your merciful ground
Yet with every step tread with reverence

And I'll fall facedown
As Your glory shines around
Yes, I'll fall facedown
As Your glory shines around

Who is there in the heavens like You?
And upon the earth, who's Your equal?
You are far above, You're the highest of heights
We are bowing down to exalt You

So let Your glory shine around
Let Your glory shine around
King of glory, here be found
King of glory

good job....

my teacher reminded us that our first exam is in about 9weeks!! i knew in my head that we leave school in 14weeks but i hadnt thought about the fact it ment our exams were in 9weeks!! so yeah the bulk of my revision has now began.....

snow,snow,snow

whilst im writing this its snowing outside, not much but hey!! so lent approches us tomorrow, 40days and 40nights without something, im gonna give up fizzy drinks (everyday i have fizzy drinks at school) and im also going to give up crisps ive desided. last year i did the whole chocolate thing and the year before chips, so this year im giving up fizzy drinks and crisps, but im also taking something on, claire spoke about prayer at elbow room on sunday night, and said how God sometimes says yes,sometimes no and other times wait. ive desided i am going to pray for someone everyday and commit to it aswell. so my lent things are....

NO CRISPS

NO FIZZY DRINKS

PRAYING FOR SOMEONE EVERYDAY

unfortunate......

yet again im ill!!! ARGH, well annoyed that i keep getting ill, woke up yesterday with flu symtems but still got ready for school, two mins before leaving to go, i desided to go back to bed!! please pray for me, that God will protect me and prevent me from getting ill anymore, this time of year is so important, i need to be in school. please pray God heals me and protects me from any other bugs. thanks

what is love??

just read though some of my old emails whilst sorting through them and found one from december 2003-it was a thing me and some friends from school did....we all added two lines about love....its quite sweet.....so thought id post it! im not telling you which lines i wrote, you can guess if you want to, they are towards the end!


What is love?

If love was a river, i'd swim all day,
If love was sand, i'd stay forever on the bay,
If love was water, i'd drink the sea,
If love was honey, id want to be a bee,
If love was oxygen, i'd enjoy every breath,
If love was a plague, i'd love you to death,
If love was red, i'd take your blood,
If love was a flower, i'd care for you from a bud,
If love was music, i'd listen unill the end,
If love was a letter, you'd be one to who i'd send,
If love was a car, i'd drive forever,
If love was a cow, i'd always wear leather,
If love was grass, i'd lay there for hours,
If love was a plant, i'd send you thousands of flowers,
If love was a number, i'd send you two,
If love was money, i'd give it all to you,
If love was life, i'd want to live for ever,
If love was business, you'd be my latest endevour,
If love was a name, yours would be the one i choose,
If love was shopping, i'd buy thousands of shoes,
If love was weather, it'd be full of sunshine,
If love was hurt badly,you'd make it fine,
If love was dull, i'd make it bright,
If love was dark,i'd give it light,
If love was a friend, that friend would be you.....

good nights sleep!

had a really good nights sleep last night, ive been so tired the past week so this morning i lay in until 11 and now im no longer tired! so its all good. ive been doing a lot of thinking lately - i remember reading on Tom's blog a while back about how you do all your thinking when you lie in bed at night....i normally do that, the past few days ive just been thinking about pretty much everything. its been quite good to think everything through.....ive been thinking a lot about september and where i want to be then, ive desided i want to go 6th form. so really hope the interview goes well, which should be sometime in march is what we've been told. ive been thinking a lot about friendships with people, some which arent as good as they could be and others which are really good and others which have fallen apart. thought about quite a few other things aswell, but that will do for now....

hope everyone is having a good weekend.

why bother?

whats how i feel at the min. i always make the effort to make sure people are happy, i always give the best advise i can, i am always there for people, put others before myself, listen to peoples problems....

today though im left thinking, why do i bother??

but i know why i bothered....as i care for my friends and family and those around me, and i dont like seeing them hurting or upset. thats why i do it.cos i love them.

boys, boys, boys, boys, BOYS

ever had the feeling that everyone around you is either in a relationship or wanting to get in a relationship?? i think for the past week all ive heard about is this boy this, that boy that!!! makes me sad to look at some people and all you see is them want to be in a relationship because they think it'l make them happy or because all their friends are in a relationship. yeah ok, so i talk about boys a LOT! but i dont look at the fact that i have or need to be in a relationship to make me happy, at the min, i am happy single. some of my friends seem like they just want to be in a relationship because the people they hang around with are...this week at school, two of the girls i hang around with have cried due to guys....hmm.....hope none of my mates get hurt.

COMPLETED

have just finished my dt and done the extra extention page!! so its done, dusted and finished!! have really enjoyed doing it and i am really proud of it. im gonna try and see if there are any more pages i can do, or if any pages can be created for me to do....because the others have the extention of the 24th march!! so thats a month today!! and i dont want to be sitting doing no work for a month! but yeah am pleased its done, big weight lifted and can relax a bit more!!!

todays been a bit of a mix, the lessons have been good and ive got lots of work done in each of them and in general im enjoying school a lot more, the days are going quick and im getting lots done. like today but then in general people have been winding me up. since first thing this morning when i got up and the mazzive arguement with my brother, ive just been annoyed!! hmmmm.......

this weekend....dont know what im doing yet, havent planned anything, might just do some revision. oh yeah...and sunday im going to the LCET office. visit there website to find out more...come along, should be good :+)

well have good weekend guys x

kelly clarkson

just got back from her concert. some support act called the faders were supporting her, never heard of them and they were only alright!! kelly clarkson was good though. she sang a big variety of songs and i really enjoyed it...however it wasnt the best concert ive been to and i thought it ended quite early. but all in all it was good, good to see her live and i think she performed well.

anyway its 12.20am and im tired and got school tomorrow so im off to bed

HAPPY 17 BIRTHDAY NAOMI - LOVE YOU XXXXXXX

good old day

todays been quite good. i got so much of my dt coursework done and have practically finished, quite chuffed with myself...ive worked hard, ive met the deadline...but oh wait, most of the class havent, so we've been given yet another extention! 3more weeks! il have finished by the end of the week so ive been given extra pages to put in! can't be bad i guess!

the little boy who was crying yesterday came up to me and said thankyou and that the teachers are now dealing with the problem and the girl who was crying - the other 3 girls went and spoke to her and sorted it out! my form tutor has been away for the last two days and after form this morning asked me why the girl had been crying yesterday (am guessing another teacher told her) so i explanined and she said id handled it well and if any help was needed then to go and get her. so yeah it got sorted, each of the girls spoke to her individualy like i suggested and they sorted it out.

what im doing tonight, im really looking forward to...however i know for a fact, certain people who are reading this are gonna take the mick....im going to see Kelly Clarkson! i cant wait, am really looking forward to it.

so thats me done and gone, cant believe just how quickly this week is going. peace out guys, have a good evening!

Your thoughts.....

last two days have been ok...i dont mind been back at school now - its not been to bad, lessons are going quickly now as the exams keep getting closer....but today it hit me just how badly some people are effected by bullying and bitching, let me explain....

it got to lunch time and i went to form to put my things in, there was a boy who is in year8 sitting in my seat crying, i know this boy, not well but know his name so i asked him if he was ok, i then spent the next 15mins listening to him and how he is getting bullied...so i spoke to him about it and a couple of teachers were there because of the incident which had taken place, the boys who had been picking on him were trying to cover themselves but their story changed 5times....so in the end they were told to wait outside....i had a long chat with this boy and then i then left this boy who was crying so the teachers could talk to him a bit more and i went to get dinner.

went back to form shortly after to find my friend crying outside form on her own.....i hang around with 4 other girls, including this girl who was outside form....3 of these girls have fallen out with this one girl....im the only one whos friends with them both....they have fallen out because supposidly the girl was bitching about them to other people, however as far as im aware they havent asked her, they've just taken other peoples word....its quite hard for me and awkward when they are near each other because they dont get on. however one of them was with me when we saw her.....i started chatting to her and spent the next 25mins with her crying and telling me how she feels about everything...i was honest with her....i told her how i find it hard when her and the girl who was with me bitch about people they dont know and judge them because of what they look like or what they are wearing...she turned around to me and said she realised just how much bitching hurts people and she feels bad when shes judged people. the girl who was with me just stood there listening. i tired to talk to the girl crying about things....but i didnt no what to say to some of the things she was saying....but ive said to her and the other 3girls indivually they need to sit down 1-1 and talk and sort things out....so hopefully that will happen.

so lunch was quite eventful....one of the teachers came and said thank you to me for chatting to this boy and apparently i helped him.

i just want to know...if you were in my shoes....and your friends had fallen out like mine have, what would you do?? would you do what ive done?? or would you do something different?? ive stayed hanging around with the other 3girls...but im only with them twice a week at lunch because i have prefect duty, prayer meeting and alpha course the other three lunch times, but im with them every break time....maybe i should stay with the other girl? i dont know.....

id really apprecaite if you comment about it. thanks!

do you think about it?

Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

do you think and mean these words when you pray them or is it just a routine?? that was the question we asked the girls in our 11-14year old group this morning....and i found myself challenged by it....sometimes i say the Lords Prayer without thinking or meaning what i am saying....the line which i felt God saying to me was

"and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us"

i struggle with forgivness a lot...its a weak point for me....i really feel i need to pray and ask God to help me forgive some people in my life who have hurt me.....

long time no see!!

few of the people who havent been to infinity for a while ive been praying for...one guy and one girl in particular...the girl rang me friday night and we had a really long chat and the guy came to church this morning!! God is so awesome. these two people i miss so much as im good friends with them both, dont get me wrong...i miss everyone else too but ive just had these two people on my heart to pray for...so in the space of three days two prayers have been answered. am now really praying for more members of infinity who havent been around, that they would come back to Christ. so yeah this morning was awesome to see the guy there and to catch up. its amazing what God does, lets not forget to praise him for it.

round and round....

its like a never ending circle....you sort one things out and then another problem appears!!! well thats what seems to be happening with me at the mo!!!

but enough of that....ive had a pretty good week....there have been a couple of things which could have been better but all in all the week has been enjoyable for lots of reasons. so back to school on monday....would have enjoyed a slightly longer break but im not to fussed about going back....its just gonna be a lot of hard work now as the exams draw ever closer!!

so tomorrow is the last of the holiday....the afternoon is going to be taken up of doing homework...cos ive been quite crap and left it all til the last minute!! but i havent got a lot to do...most of the things which need doing are done in rough and just need typing up. so its not too bad i guess!!! i forgive myself for it!

me and mum have spent a lot of time together the last couple of days and its been really nice, we have really become a lot closer lately and its so special. we went to flitwick pet shop yesterday and saw the cutest guinea pigs - they had fuzzy hair and looked like little sheeps! i feel in love with one of them but mum said no because my guinea pig is about 5/6months now and so it wouldnt work getting another guinea pig to put in his cage as they would probably fight!!!!

well thats me done...peace out x

Guess whos back....hannahs back...tell a friend!

hannah is back to blogger!! read her blog everyone!!! xx

i love you....

You never leave me
Your always there
Problems get sorted
Because you care
I turn you to
And know you listen
I wait but know your there
Working and fixing things
Answering questions i have
Everything happens for a reason
You look after me
You show me how much you love me
You never put me in anything i cant face
There will always be a way out
Your looking after me
When i do things wrong you forgive me
You love me even though i dont deserve it
You have grace for me
You hold me in your arms when i find things hard
All i can say is
i love you.....

fun times....

todays been a nice day. i went out with mum this morning and then went to tashas to chill with her and stevie. it was fun - we played monopoley - i lost haha and steve won!! and then we went for a really long muddy walk!! but it was fun then i came home before going to hannahs tonight with rob,tasha and chris. was great seeing sarah again now that shes back and it was just a good evening :+) so ive had a good day today!

ding dong the bells are gonna chime!

my brother and his girlfriend got engaged yesterday!! very exciting news and im gonna be a bridesmaid hehe!!! her ring is gorgeous, i saw it today as they've been on holiday the last couple of days to bornemouth!! so am quite excited that their engaged!

you know you have a true friend when....

they drop all they are doing to take you out when your feeling down. tasha took me out today...hadnt planned to go out and had canceled my arrangements id made today but tasha said to me that she'd take me out so we went out. went to hitchen and had lunch in a nice little cafe called the triangle cafe - recomend it!! and then we went to a garden centre!! haha i felt like looking at animals so thats where we went. tasha is a star and i love you so much tash, thank you for being an amazing friend. whilst we were in the car...macy gray - "i try" came on the radio havent heard that song in ages!!! the guy made me laugh on the radio....he goes a song to play when you want someone and cant have them....

heres the lyrics to that song....

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together, babe
But we're not

i play it off but i'm dreamin' of you
I'll keep my cool but i'm feindin'
(i try to say) goodbye and i choke
I try to walk away and i stumble
Though i try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

I may appear to be free
But i'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front, just a front, hey

Here is my confession
May i be your possession
Boy i need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might i try
But this i can't deny, deny

applies to me....

bit worried at the min....dont want to write about it but ive been praying this afternoon and listening to christian songs...ages ago me and hannah made a little book called hope and help and put in song words and bible verses....ive turned to it this afternoon.

Father, in times of trouble let me turn to you, for you are my rock, you never leave me and always love me, even when I do wrong, you do not stop loving me. For you are with me, your rod and your staff, and you comfort me.

these words stuck out to me....

"faithful one, so unchanging, Ageless one, your my rock of peace"

"You are my rock in times of trouble, you lift me up when i fall down, all through the storm, your love is the ancor, my hope it in you alone."

"You are all i need"

"forever God is faithful, forever God is strong, forever God is with us"

"Yesterday, today and forever, you are faithful and we will trust in you."

"My troubled soul why so weighed down. You were not made to bear this heavy loud. Cast all your burdens upon the Lord. Jesus cares, he cares for you"

"You are the voice of hope, the anchor of my soul, where there seems to be no way, you make it possible. "

Rain Down

i havent heard this song since soul survivor!! am listening to premier christian radio while i wait for my lunch to cook!!

Looks like tonight, the sky is heavy
Feels like the winds are gonna change
Beneath my feet, the earth is ready
I know its time for heaven's rain, it's gonna rain
It's gonna rain, again
Cos it's living water we desire
To flood out hearts with holy fire
Rain down all around the world we're singing
Rain down can you here the earth is singing
Rain down my heart is dry but still I'm singing
Rain down rain it down on me.
Back to the start, my heart is heavy
Feels like it's time, to dream again
I hear your voice, and yes I'm ready
To dance upon this barren land
Hope in my hands
Do not shut, Do not shut, Do not shut the heavens
But open up, open up, open up our hearts
Give me strength to cross the water
Keep my heart upon your altar
Give me strength to cross this water
Keep my feet don’t let me falter

half term

so the holiday has began!! yesterday was cool went to hannahs with chris, gareth and tasha and then we went town for a bit. was cool just chilling out and then in the evening i had my bodyshop party which was a laugh...really enjoyed it and was cool having church and school mates together from the age of 14-18 so was good :+)

today...good old valentines day! to everyone whos single - the day we all dread!! so im not doing anything very exciting today....me jess and chloe are going to go to the cinema later i think, not sure what to see yet though. and mum brought me some flowers bless her!!!

so the holiday is quite good so far. ive got rather a lot of work to do though....learning drama lines, learning my spanish speaking exam and completing my food coursework!!!

Bible verses

Dave did his talk tonight at church about starwars and spoke on a few different bible verses...there were 3 inparticular which stuck out to me....

Psalm 18 - verses 1 - 3
I love you, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

2Timothy 2 verse 16
Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will
become more and more ungodly

1Peter 5 verses 5-11
Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older.
All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift
you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring
lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith,
because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the
same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

the old days....

naomi came over tonight....we were talking about when we were in bushmead and how we didnt have a care in the world about anything...those were such good days...i was reading my leavers book from there and reading messages from everyone was so sweet and some of them were quite funny!! we also spoke about when we used to go to aqausplash every week on fridays and saturdays and the friends we made there, the lifeguards and other people that went to the disco thing we went too!! ahh the memories!! hehe, quite a laugh to think back to when we were about 12!!! weird aint it....when your younger you have no worries....you dont worry about your image, or boys if your a girl or girls if your a boy, or exams, or money, or getting a job....so different to how things are now!!! but yeah i had a good night....we had a good chat and a good remonice. took my dog for a pretty long walk aswell which was cool.

Brief summary

got a really good school report tonight...to sum it up....

history - said im working well, had a patch where i wasnt working as hard as i could but my coursework is all a A and thats 25% of my final grade so he thinks il get a B or A in my GCSE.

Re - said am working well....continue to work hard and go on a website he gave me and il get a B or an A

English...im working well and will definatly get a C but i want a B and she told me to push myself and she doesnt see why i wont get the B

drama....same as english really...im working well and will get a C or B

maths - he said im working well and my coursework is an A and il get a C or B

Science - this report made my eyes water....my teacher was saying how ive become so much more confident and how much i deserve to pass science and he is positive il get a C and that my coursework is an A which is 20%. (science is a weaker subject for me even though im in topset) and he said how ive made him so proud because of how determined i am and that hes proud of me.

i learnt one main point from this...im better at doing coursework than i am at doing exams!!! my maths, science, history and DT coursework is all A grade!!! so now i just have to work extra hard to get the grades in the exams!!

so yeah i got a good report and am pleased with it....didnt see Dt or Spanish because they werent there for us to see them. i went to tashas after and had such a good chat with her....we were chatting about so many things and it was great, Tash - i love you xxx

reading over....

just read over my last few blogs and gosh they all seem to be about judging!! its really on my mind but i think ive said what i need to about it.

i have parents evening in 45mins!! oooh wish me luck!! hehe, nah im sure it will go well... no reason for it not to so im not really worried about it. bit annoyed cos my best subject is food and my tutor is not there for the parents evening so i wont get a report on that!!!

had a great chat with Claire today at lunch, we had the alpha course but it finished early and so me and Claire went and sat in the dinner hall and were chatting which was cool.

well im off, speak to everyone soon! xx

take a break

half term soon! im looking forward to relaxing and just having the break, i am so tired at the minute. im looking forward to just chilling out and having a week to do things as and when i want too not when others want me too. so should be good!!

saw a boy in my year tonight, who im really praying for. he got kicked out of school about a year ago now and i used to be quite good mates with him, still chat whenever i see him and i was having a chat with him tonight, i just really pray he finds God and that his life can change for the better and that he'll no longer get in trouble.

Have a good time in Romania Tom!

Dont do it

...ive realised lately just how much i used to judge people before getting to know them. when we spoke a few weeks back at infinity about judging i felt really challenged by it. ive judged a lot of people and ive been judged by a lot of people. i think about when ive been judged and how its hurt and then i think to when i judge people and how i must make them feel about themselves. ive become friends with a lot of people in my year that i used to judge all for the wrong reasons. for example by what i heard others saying, by the way they worked, by what they wore and the list goes on....what im trying to say is that i still do judge people and i know i shouldnt but im trying to stop it and break out of it. im trying to accept people and get to know them first. it hurts so much when you know people are talking about you, ive experienced it and ive watched others experience it. ive had loadsa chats about juding with people the last few days....mainly with girls in my year and each have told me how its effected them....and all have agreed how much it hurts...so what im trying to say is please STOP and THINK before you judge someone.

Question....

Why do people continue to judge you about things which have happened ages ago and bring up things that they know upset you?

great chat...

i had an hours long chat with my friend from school tonight, me and her were chatting about the last 5years of school. it was good though as we were talking about regrets aswell as good things which have happened - there are a lot of things from my time at high school which i regret and i havent really talked to anyone about it. talking to her tonight really helped and i feel really relaxed now. i also spoke to a boy in my year about it when i was walking home with him. i think there were things i needed to talk about as they were things i was holding on to insted of letting go and i was glad me and her had the chat. she was saying how much u can see ive changed in the last couple of years and how its a good change. she was saying how you can see im trying to live a christian life now and that ive changed for good. i was pleased to just chat with her and both of us spoke about things we are stuggling with at the min and found out the things are quite similar. so yeah...good chat and now im feeling positive about things... the boy i was chatting to when walking home is a christian aswell and he was saying what he finds hard at school and we were talking about how important it is to live for God everywhere we are including school, was great to chat and listen to how they are both feeling.

heard this song tonight and these lyrics stuck out to me....

Bad relationships, and people i thought where friends and People judging me, before they get to know a thing.

ive done things i regret. we all have and i think people get judged a lot by the things they've done and once they change and stop the things they regret, there are still times were people bring it up again and make you feel crap about yourself...that happened to me a couple of weeks back at school. i guess things like that are what makes me hate it, as i still think i sometimes get judged upon what i was like in the earlier years of high school and not what im like now.

i know a lot of people feel like that, as ive had a lot of chats with people in my year about it. we are ALL GUILTY of judging people, but thats something im trying to stop doing, and i know some others in my year who are also trying to stop judging and if we work together we'll be able to do it.

so what am i getting too....the chats ive had with people since sunday have made me think a lot and now i know others are feeling similar to how i feel about school, but its still no reason to hate it, we just need to make the most of the last few months and work hard and thats what i intend to do!!! work hard enjoy it and make the most of it....and ive got someone to ask me each week about school and how the weeks been and ive got to be honest, so im challenging myself aswell now....

report!

got my school report yesterday...was a really good report and im pretty proud of it all my teachers gave me good reports and it was a really nice report to have and will be good to take to interviews and things which are all next month. im predicted to pass all my subjects with Cs and Bs and a couple of As. so all in all i was quite pleased :+)

challenging

i had a really good day today at school, enjoyed it and realised today that im going to be gone before i know it and i need to make the most of the last few months that i have left insted of wishing they were over. it sunk in a lot today, soon im not going to see everyone around me at school as much, and il really miss some of them and therefore i need to make the most of everday. as soon as june comes the last 11years of my education will have finished and thats quite a scary thought....i think i need to be positive in school and insted of hating it and wishing it was over i just need to relax a bit more and enjoy it. i know not every day will be easy and not every day will be hard, some days will be better than others, thats just the way life is and i think thats something i need to come to terms with more. so ive desided im going to try and enjoy it and not say i hate it at every chance i get. a lot of people have challenged me about my outlook at school and many people have told me to stop wishing the days away and enjoy it while its there and that i should just work hard and make the most of it. lots of people are challenging me about it and why i hate it, and i think i need to just learn to be patient and enjoy the next few months insted of wishing them away. so thats what im going to do...be patient, enjoy it and when days are tough remind myself of the positive things happening in school.

song....

just listened to blessed be your name - these words really just stuck out to me -

You give and take away, You give and take away, my heart will chose to stay, Lord blessed to your name....

these words made me think....just about things going on in my life at the minute and how God has given me certain things and put certain people in my life but aswell as that some have been taken away....really just made me think. and yeah just feel these words stick out at the minute.

Baptism

Baptism of Chris from our Youth Section
Claire Farmery from our Youth Speaking Team encourages Chris on the start of his journey with God at adult Baptism
Claire Farmery, 05/02/2006

http://www.stopsley.net

this is so awesome to listen too. really powerful and really special to listen too. my friend got baptised last night and it would be great if you guys listen to it....

a bit more positive....

today im feeling a bit better in myself. i had a really long chat with Hairy last night and i really appreciate the fact that he just listened to me talk about how i was feeling - thanks hairs - your a star!

Tasha brought me home in her car!was fun and shes a good driver i might add :+) we had a great chat outside my house which was cool, spoke about a lot of things from school, to home, to boys! so was a good chat!!!!

school started a bit crap this morning, didnt want to be there, had a bit of a disagreement with one of the girls i hang around with....but then came maths and i was having a really long chat with my mate Joe, we spoke about lots of things and its made me more positive. im really looking forward to starting college....ive desided im going to go to luton 6th form. ive prayed about it, talked to people about it and inquired more about it and i just feel that would be the right college for me so thats where im heading!!! im looking forward to being 17 and learning to drive....not too long away, will come around quick cos of having exams and that now!!!!

had a long chat with Liz tonight which made me feel better and i spoke to her about a lot of things - so thanks honey!

so yeah now im off to get dinner and then go to infinity....

oh yeah - check toms blog....am proud of him....he gave blood today....will let you read it....

feel like crap

every have a time in your life when you feel your letting the people closest to you down? cos thats how im feeling right now. im finding a lot of things hard in my life at the minute. and i feel that people around me are feeling as though im letting them down. i dont know, maybe they dont. i just feel pretty rubbish in myself at the minute. so much has happened lately and its all built up on its self and now has really started to affect me, so im feeling quite rubbish. hmmm i sound rather negetive don't i. sorry.

feels like ages ago now...

the weekend away....not even a year ago....what good memories was this and how much fun it was. all of us bonding and getting so much closer in the space of 3days. i havent seen some of these guys in ages and i really miss them. this was last april. how much cirmcumstances have changed now and how lots of new things are taking place. some of these people have moved on. but this weekend carrys a lot of good memories.

Dont be fake, Be you

something ive noticed a lot over the last couple of months is how people put on a act depending who they are with. so if they are with one group of friends being one way they will be completely different with another group of friends. it really upsets me that people cant be themselves. they dont feel they can be loved for who they are so they put on this act, they dont know their real identity no more, they try and be the person everyone else wants them to be because they think that way they will be in with the crowd.

something that came to my heart about a week ago was this....

Your special,don't let anyone tell you otherwise,don't change to fit in,but be different and stand out,dont be afraid.....

i guess that is my prayer for people im surrounded by day in day out. especially people are school, that they feel they can be themselves and not try to be someone their not. it really upsets me and makes me wonder why people put on an act insted of being accepted for who they are. so i just pray people will be themselves not someone who isnt them

song lyrics....

For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
But why are you making this thing drag on so long(I wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly game(silly games)
Don't think that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring dow
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you in a state(in a state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

Osmosis

that is the new thing happening at our church. its were all the youth join together so we have the 11-18yr olds of our church meeting together once a month to chill, worship and share. tonight was the first and i really enjoyed it. really felt God and got a lot out of it.

cant wait til this time next week

im really looking forward to this time next week. i think right now all i want is a break from everything and everyone(no offence anyone) and next week i will have broken up for half term. im not doing anything that exciting in half term but im just looking forward to escaping and having a break. i just want to have some "me" time. it feels to me at the minute that ive put others before myself and its just been chucked back in my face. i just want to now have a break and have time to chill and do things how and when i went. also my food coursework will be done and dusted by next week which is one less worry. but il be spending a lot of half term learning my spanish speaking exam and learning my drama gcse lines....oh how theres so much to do!!!

bring on the summer is all i say when its all over and the next step of my life begins, as im so excited about it...

things happen again and again and it makes you realise why you hated the problem in the first place....

dont you hate it when things repeat themselves which are things that have already gotten to you a lot and just when you think that something is looking up and going to improve it all crashes upon you again and makes you feel like crap?! sound familiar? cos thats how i feel at the minute. things go really really good for me and then the next thing i know things are really rubbish and its like a never ending circle...always happening. i know the main reasons im feeling rubbish though and last night when i was listening to my ipod my eyes were watering as i thought about things which are going on at the minute....but yeah lets be positive and look to the future...

brothers...dont you just LOVE them!!!!

well tonight went for a family meal was quite nice. apart from the fact that i was the centre of the talk!!! i dont see jonny as much now hes moved out and he loves going on about when im going to get a boyfriend and he tries to guess who i fancy and things like that!!!! so tonight he thought it'd be funny to tell mum i fancy someone when i dont and he knows i dont! so all night ive had my whole family talk about me and my love life and when ive explained nothing going on with anyone and im staying single til after my exams my other brother steven desided to join in the teasing!!! so tonight the topic of our family dinner was me!!! and my mum, dad and jonnys girlfriend deb didnt stick up for me....oh no they joined it too!!!! dont you just LOVE brothers!!!!

days like today when i know why i hate it.....

its days like how school was today when i realise just why i hate it. there was a lot of tention today. the thing is a bit part of it is with people in my year. im really watching what i say and who i say it to because of the attitudes people have at the moment. take today for example...there were two cat full on fights with people in my year!! two of the girls i hang around with fell out and people are just being arsey to each other. we leave so soon and its so sad to see how our final weeks are turning out to be so horrible!!

but we were voting different things for our yearbook and one of the topics was best personality in the year group and my form said me...was touched and i said to them but i dont get along with some people and they said to me that i dont show it and tell everyone unlike some others. so they've voted me for it...!