girlies wouldnt we all like this....

a guy....

who can wrestle with you and let you win.
who u can talk to about anythingwho laughs at your jokes
.the boy who puts your cold hands in my warm hoodie pockets.
who lets u use my sweatshirt for a pillow.
who buys u 25 cent rings,
who says i love you & means it.
who will kiss u in the rain,
in the sunshine, and in the snow.
whos calls unexpectedly.
who will have many inside jokes with u and remember each one.
who notices your changes in your hairstyle.
who realizes that girls say things but dont always mean them
who shows up at your events, slipping in the door.
who can tell you their problems and let you help.
who will listen to you talk-- about the new nail polish u got.
who will bring you seashells from the beach.
who will let you beat him up when you get angry.
who writes love letters to u, and waits til your mad at him to send them
who draws pictures and slips them gently into your locker slot.
who saves his genuine, big smiles for you.
the boy with deep eyes that can see through faces into depths.
who wears hats and lets u wear them too.
who gives u his t-shirt to change into and not expect to get it back
who knows your favorite color,
song, car, vegetable, perfume, and
the color of your toothbrush.
the boy who will shake your dad's hand and look your mother in the eye.
who will call you by your proper name
the boy who will kiss you and tell you that your pretty.
the boy who will let you cry to him.
who will squeeze your hips just right.
who surprises you and compliments you, and plays with your hair.
who knows when you have a math test or when you fail one.
the boy who smells like he just stepped out of the shower.
who wears cologne that you can subtly smell when ur leaning on his shoulder.
who tells you u have a nice laugh and a smile that lights up the room
and is simply yours to hold.

to every girl

just read this...

To every girl that dresses cute not skanky.

To every girl who wants to be called beautiful not hot.

To every girl that will spend her whole day looking for the perfect present for you.

To every girl who gets her heart broken because he chose that bitch instead.

To every girl that would die to have a decent boyfriend.

To every girl who would just like once to be treated like a princess.

To every girl that cries at night because of another heartbreak.

To every girl that wont get down on her knees and open her mouth just to get a boyfriend.

To every girl that just wants to hold hands.

To every girl that kisses him with meaning.

To every girl who just wishes he cared more.

To every girl who would just once want a guy to give their jacket up when they are cold.

To every girl who just wants him to call.

To every girl who lies awake at night thinking about him.

To every girl that just wants to cuddle.

To every girl that just wants to sleep with him without having sex.

To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart out there again because she has been HURT tooo many times or so badly.

To every girl who shows how much she cares and gets nothing back.

To every girl that thought maybe this one could be the one.

To every girl that believes in her dreams.

To every girl that would do anything so she could achieve those dreams.

To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff when she actually doesnt think it is funny.

To every girl who is just looking for that one and only and is having a rough time along the way.

To every girl that has been cheated on because shes not a slut who gives it up to any guy.

To every girl that doesnt want a guy who just plays with her emotions but actually cares about how she feels.

To every girl who wants words backed up with actions.

To every girl that fell for all the lies only to find themselves alone in the end.

To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face.

To every girl that has the guts to stands up to a guy and says ur not gonna mess me about again

today couldnt have got much worse

today has been crap. im not going into detail but i am really fedup. especially with someone. i need to forgive them though and i know i need to but im just annoyed and hurt with something they have done. but il get over it. but yeah today has been rubbish. and im quite fedup as you can tell.

whats the most important thing in a friendship?

was one of the questions everyone was asked at encounter....for me its TRUST. that is so important, to be able to trust your friends and them be able to trust you, i struggle a great deal with this like most people know, i find it hard telling people things and knowing it will not go to anyone else....however it made me think today....you know when people know something to do with you and you dont know it....and they are challenged about whether or not they should tell you....thats happened with two of my friends...and they did tell me....and i am really pleased they did, yeah they didnt want me to be hurt but im pleased i knew insted of not knowing, id have been more annoyed and hurt to have found out that they knew and hadnt told me. but you see the devil is trying to attack me, hannah and tasha in as many ways possible...just as things start to go good between us, the devil tries to fire something at us and ruin our friendship, hannah and tash had to deside if they were gonna tell me what they knew and im pleased they did. ive been thinking this afternoon and reflecting as encounter today was about choices and were we need Gods wisdom....and i was thinking about choices in general....either we make the right choice or we dont....and sometimes we know what is right or wrong and other times we dont. i guess me, han and tash have the choice....to fight against the devil and stick together and forgive each other when things go wrong, or let the devil win and let our friendship be defeated. i know what choice i want to make....to keep going....to keep being strong and to win. ive written a prayer for me, tash and hannah and our friendship.....

my friends, my angels, my support, my family.....

Father, i pray for me, tasha and hannah, that you be there with us, you dont let anything come inbetween us that may ruin our friendship, i pray father that you look after us all and protect us. just be there and let us be honest with eachother, let us be truthful to one another and let us challenge each other, when we are hurting allow us to be honest and to tell one another what is wrong. let us share our joy aswell. father be there with us and look after us. i thank you for my friendship with hannah and tasha, i thank you for giving me such amazing friends, who do love and support me through everything, good or bad, happy or sad, they are always there for me and i thank you for that father, i thank you that when things are hard they are there for me to run to and seek help and advise, i especially think of today and it been 2years since grandma died father, and i just thank you that hannah and tasha are there for me. Father just protect us all and allow our friendship to grow stronger. give the 3 of us wisdom and work in our friendship. father i thank you for the great people hannah and tasha are and pray you pour your love upon them and me.

amen
--x--

2years tomorrow

its two years tomorrow - 30/04/06 that my nan died. its gone well quick....ive been thinking about it a lot this weekend, and me and dad had a really long chat about it yesterday....this time two years ago was the noise weekend, me and tasha had just become friends, and it was great to have her their to support me. the song - " i can only imagine " reminds me of my nan....cos the day she died, i was at the noise celebration and that song came on and my nan was a christian and i was like wow shes expericing all this song is saying. i listened to it tonight on my ipod in the car and thought back of the memories. cant believe how fast the last 2years have gone, feels like it was only the other day.

i can only imagine....

"I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by Your side...
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see, when Your Face is before me!
I can only imagine. I can only imagine.

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

I can only imagine, when that day comes, when I find myself standing in the Son!
I can only imagine, when all I will do, is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus?
Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine!
Yeah! I can only imagine!

what the site has to say about all 12 in the series....

video we watched today - kickball.

We always think we know what’s missing from our lives in order to really make us happy, don’t we? If only I had that car, or that job, or if only I could lose those 15 lbs, then I’d be happy. Really? How often do we want something only to find out that it wasn’t that great after all? Sometimes we ask God for things and if he doesn’t deliver right away, we start questioning whether God really understands or even cares. Do we really trust God? Do we trust that God is good and sees a bigger picture than we ever could? It’s easy to want what’s right in front of us, but maybe God knows what’s better for us, and sometimes we just can’t see it.

video on forgivness that we watched (luggage) -

Maybe a friend turned their back on you. Maybe someone you loved betrayed you. We all have wounds and we end up carrying around these things that people have done to us for weeks, months, and sometimes even years. It isn’t always easy to forgive these people and after a while these hurts can get really heavy. So the only way to feel better seems to be somehow getting back at the people that hurt us, to get revenge. But does revenge ever truly satisfy? Maybe forgiving isn’t something you do for someone else to let them off the hook. Maybe forgiveness is about you. God didn’t create you to carry these wounds around. God created you to be free.

other videos in the series -

RAIN
things don’t always work out the way we want them to, or the way we think they will. Sometimes we don’t even see it coming. We get hit with some form of pain out of nowhere leaving us feeling desperate and helpless. That’s the way life is. Still, it makes us wonder how God can let these things happen to us. How God can just stand by and watch us suffer. Where is God when it really hurts? Maybe God is actually closer to us than we think. Maybe it’s when we’re in these situations, where everything seems to be falling apart, that God gets an opportunity to remind us of how much he really loves us.

FLAME
I love those shoes. Really? The same way I love my wife? What’s up with the word “love”? It doesn’t have much meaning when we use it so loosely. Maybe we don’t really get it. Maybe we don’t understand what real love is. What it involves to really love somebody. What it means to give yourself to someone else. We mistake things like friendship, commitment, or lust for love, but God wired us a certain way to experience all that love was really meant to be. Not to hold us back or to make us miss out on the best that life has to offer. God created love, and wants us to feel it all in the way it’s meant to be felt.

TREES
We want to know why we are here. If our lives really matter. How our religion is relevant to this life. Today. We want to understand what significance this minute, hour, week, month, and year has to our lives.To our world. We need a God who cares about this life, in this world, right now. We want to understand why everything we think, everything we say, and everything we do matters. We don’t want to just sit back and wait for something to happen or someday to come. We want to know if all the choices we make now will shape our world and lives for eternity. Because we want our lives to have meaning today, and our lives today to have meaning forever.

SUNDAY
Why do we do the things we do? Why do we go to church or give money away? Because we’re supposed to or because we think God needs it? Do we honestly put on our best clothes for an hour once a week, stand and sit at all the right times, and sing all the appropriate songs for God’s sake, or because it’ll make us look better to the world around us? We’re tired of all the empty rituals and routines. And so is God. God hates it when we call ourselves Christians but ignore all the things he really cares about. He hates it when we go through hollow religious routines out of some feeling of duty or obligation. God doesn’t want the meaningless rituals. God wants our hearts.

NOISE
Why is silence so hard to deal with? Why is it so much easier for us to live our lives with a lot of things going on all the time than to just be in silence? We’re constantly surrounded with “voices” that are influencing us on how to think, feel, and behave. Movies, music, TV, Internet, cell phones, and a never-ending barrage of advertising. There’s always something going on. Always noise in our lives. But maybe there’s a connection between the amount of noise in our lives and our inability to hear God. If God sometimes feels distant to us, maybe it’s not because he’s not talking to us, but simply because we aren’t really listening.

DUST
Believing in God is important, but what about God believing in us? Believing that we can actually be the kind of people we were meant to be. People of love, compassion, peace, forgiveness, and hope. People who try to do the right thing all of the time. Who act on the endless opportunities around us every day for good, beauty, and truth. It’s easy for us to sometimes get down on ourselves. To feel “not good enough” or feel like we don’t have what it takes. But maybe if we had more insight into the culture that Jesus grew up in and some of the radical things he did, we’d understand the faith that God has in all of us.

BULLHORN
God loves everyone, so a Christian should, too. In fact, Jesus said that the most important thing in life is to love God with everything we’ve got and love others the same way. But it’s not always easy to love everyone around us, is it? Sometimes we strongly disagree with other people’s political views, religious beliefs, behaviors, or something else, and it makes it hard to love them when we feel like we’re right and they’re very wrong. But Jesus doesn’t separate loving God and loving others. So maybe the best way for us to show our love for God is actually by loving other people no matter how hard it sometimes is. Maybe it’s the only way.

LUMP
A lot of us have done things in our lives that we’re ashamed of. Some are small things, and some of us have really big and devastating things. Some of us even have things that people close to us don’t know about. Personal junk that we keep to ourselves so we don’t have to deal with it. Because we don’t know how to deal with it, do we? We’re afraid that if we try it’s just going to make everything worse. But no matter how big our junk is, no matter how much what we’ve done has impacted the way other people feel about us or how we feel about ourselves, it hasn’t changed how God feels about us. God loves us, he always has and always will, and there’s nothing we can do to change that.

RHYTHM
What does it mean to have a relationship with God? What does it look like? For a lot of us it’s a hard thing to fully understand. If God is an infinite spirit with no shape or form, how can we possibly relate to that? And what about Jesus? He said he came to give everyone life in its fullest. He came to show us how to live. Maybe it’s through trusting Jesus and living the kind of life he taught us to live – a life of truth, love, justice, compassion, forgiveness, and sacrifice – that we have a relationship with God. Maybe the way we live every day, every single choice we make, determines how in tune with God we are.

MATTHEW
Suffering the loss of someone we love can be the most difficult thing in life to deal with. One moment we have them and the next they’re gone. What are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to feel? The truth is, there’s no certain way we’re “supposed” to feel. Whatever we’re feeling, it’s okay. It’s okay to feel shock, anger, denial or whatever we may feel. It’s okay. And if we don’t feel anything at all, that’s okay too. It’s okay to have no answers and no explanations. Because sometimes all the reasoning and comforting words in the world just isn’t what we need. What might help us however is to understand how Jesus dealt with this kind of loss.


sorry if you havent found these intresting guys, but i did and i wanted to have something to read over....you may wanna view the website as you can watch clips of the videos.

www.nooma.com <--- series we have been watching

we watched a video today in alpha....the same series as that other video we watched on forgiveness. the video was really good, again it spoke out to me. there was an example of the guys little kid wanting something from the shop and him saying no as it wasnt practical for a two year old to play with, but there was kickball the little boy had wanted a few weeks prior, and the guy took his son and brought him that. it was saying that the little boys father knew better and wanted the best for him, this example was used to show God wants what is best for us....we watched the video twice and lots of things spoke out to me the first time so the second time i wrote them down and wanted to share them because they confirmed for me something ive been praying about....i prayed last night God would confirm to me what to do in the next few days as ive just wanted to give up with it, and this confirmed it.

God loves to give us what we want but sometimes God knows better. sometimes God doesnt give us things as God knows best and knows these things may make us miserable.

sometimes we have to WAIT.

sometimes we dont get what we want and we think there is something wrong with God and we ask God - how long do i have to wait for it??

when you are confused and hurt, ask yourself this question... Do i believe God is good??

God gives good gifts to those who ask and gives us things that will better our lives.

when you ask why cant i have what i want...you need to remember...God is good and has something better for us.

so the italic parts are what really spoke out to me, and it made me realise, God knows what is best for me, and wont give me things which make me miserable.

1 per night

i have 5topics to learn for my spanish exam....will be tested on two, one i know, the other i dont!! there are 8questions for me to learn in each topic. so me and mum had a chat and im gonna learn one topic a night. we started tonight.....

so far i know 6 out of the 8 questions....not bad!!! so we are having break and im gonna do more after dinna!!!

tomorrow - topic 2
friday - topic 3
saturday - topic 4
sunday - topic 5

monday is bankholiday so i will be going over all of the topics and checking ive learnt them fully!!! im feeling a bit more relaxed now - thanks for praying guys =] x x x

stress stress stress!

is what im feeling at the min, am worried about my spanish exam which is next week...ive just been praying that my anxioties will be replaced with confidence. and il perserve. i was reminded of something today though....i havent even done the exams and God knows the results im going to get, Gods planned out my future, God knows where il be in sept, where il be next year, where il be in 10years. and i need to lift up my burdens and worries to him. i just need to keep working, keep pushing myself and not keep getting worked up and worried. ive been praying lots about it and i realised today my exams have to be my priority, i cant keep chilling out and there are other things which ive been thinking about which i need to push aside til after my exams. so yeah prayers will be appreciated especially for my spanish exam which is either next thursday or friday ( we havent been told yet which is rubbish ) thanks guys x x x

sorry if ive been snappy

this is to just say if general sorry if you've felt ive been snappy lately...as my exams are getting closer (they start week tues) im getting more and more stressed....mainly because a week on thurs i got my spanish speaking exam and the bloomin' stuff ive had to learn is not going in and what i have learnt i keep forgetting....so am quite worried about that! but drama is a week tues and thats all good, a couple more run throughs and we are gonna be fine!! tasha + hannah - im sorry - ive been a pretty crappy friend the last couple of days and not meant to be snappy.

prayers will be appreciated.

please be careful

me, hannah and tasha went out tonight, and it wasnt a very nice night....we went to wigmore park and had some youths approch us and start on us, they took hannahs phone but gave it back and then followed us to asda. it wasnt a very nice night and was pretty frightening...didnt help that one of the boys who was there is in my year at school but has been kicked out and was been pretty rude. i was so glad to get to asda and see people i knew there and then hannahs dad came and got us. this is just a blog to say please be careful. God was protecting us tonight and we were lucky but please be careful. the funny thing is all of our parents had told us not to go out to the park and none of us had told each other until we got to asda!! so look after yourselfs guys and dont have your phones or ipods or what ever in your pocket cause thats how they knew we had phones as they could see them through our pockets.

mcdonalds....

i need one more of each of those little sticker things and then il win a prize....so if you have any of the following would you please be kind enough to give them to me =] thanks!!!

*mayfair
*liverpool st station
*bond street
*coventry street
*strand
*malborough street
*northunmberl'd ave
*euston road
*old kent road

thanks lovely people x x x x x

wow....

my exams start in two weeks on tuesday!! i hadnt realised quite how soon they were!! i was looking through my diary last night and then realised!! eek!! this holiday has gone so fast, its crazy how quick its gone. the next holiday and my exams will have already started and the holiday will be spent of me revising - hmmm fun!! the holiday has had its ups and downs but over all ive enjoyed it...ive done quite a lot, ive been to london to see blood brothers, ive been to watford, seen narnia, spent a lot of time in town! chilled out with friends and been into school! so yeah its been a pretty good holiday over all!! now its gonna be time to work hard and not go out as much. have a great easter everyone x x x

check this out, would post the picture put it doesnt want to let me add an image....!

Narnia by SBC....

stopsley baptist church put on a production of narnia which i went to see yesterday. it was really good. lots of hard work had been put in and you could see the work each and every person had put in. the show was good and loads of people turned up to come and watch it...my idea of getting there at 6-30 turned out not to be a stupid one!! although we were there before the doors opened there was still a que to get in!!! i really enjoyed the show and just wanted to say a big well done to everyone at SBC and to claire for directing the show.

the trio are back....

me, hannah and tasha have sorted things out and just so everyone knows we are back and things are sorted =] lets try not to argue again!!

x x x love you girlies x x x

1st march

that was the day i started lent.... i know it is suppose to finish on easter sunday but i desided to finish today, after exactly 40days and nights...for me this year, lent was teaching me not to take the things i have for granted, to appreciate the luxereys i have and when i were to have them again appreciate them and to continue to appreciate them. i just read something a girl from school who i used to be really good mates with wrote...and it made me think...id posted her a comment 53days ago and so much has happened since then. we havent fallen out but she has loads going on in her life and i guess we just havent made the effort and so we have really drifted...but when i read it i was taken back to friday and jasons talk...when he said whats makes a good friend....i havent been a good friend to her...i should have been but havent been and thats my problem no one elses. and i guess now as school is rapidly drawing nearer to an end, i need to restore my friendships with those who have supported me through loads. yeah we move on in life, but i still think you should be there for someone and support them and show them you care. jude did a sermon a few weeks back about in 40days you can get a new habbit or lose a habbit, and thats so true...and ive got about 40 school days left and those 40days are gonna be like lent in someways again for me....im gonna make sure im a good friend to people and those people ive drifted from, make the effort to mend the broken pieces.

powerful

is one word id use to describe infinity tonight. we worshiped, then we were given a dirty nail, it was our sin and it made our hands dirty, we sang light of the world and then watched Jesus being crucified with no sound on and had to meditate. then we had to go and nail the cross into a trunk of a tree and listen to the sound and think of the nail going into Jesus' hand. after we did this we washed our hands and had them dried for us and were told"your hands are clean, Jesus forgives you." i found it really powerful and very moving. read these words we were given...

TODAY....

i can overflow with GRACE because God has lavished His grace upon me and i am saved by His grace alone.

i can overflow with LOVE to others becuase He has loved me first and placed His Holy Spirit within me so that no power in Heaven or on Earth can separate me from His love.

i can overflow with MERCY because God has been generous and merciful to me.

i can overflow with THANKFULNESS to the glory of God for it is His will that should give thanks in all circumstances.

i can overflow with FREEDOM because Jesus has set me free.

i can overflow with PEACE because in Him there is peace.

i can overflow with PRAISE to him becuase He is worthy of all honour glory and praise.

i can overflow with the abundance of God's LIFE because my old life is crucified with Christ and renewed into new life through Him.

i can overflow with JOY because He speaks His Word to me and i rejoice in Him always, Let joy be a barometer of my faith.

i can overflow with BLESSING because God has blessed me in Christ with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places, for there is no condemnation for me because the inheritance i have received cannot spoil or fade.

i can overflow in CONFIDENCE because God has called and chosen me and He is for me so who can stand against me?

i can overflow in VICTORY because He has the victory and He always leads me in triumph in Christ Jesus so that i am more than a conqueror through Him.

i can overflow in FAITH because i believe God's Word and inherit His promises.

i can overflow with RIGHTOUSNESS because i am made righteous in His sight and by the Christ that lives un me.

i can overflow in HOPE because of Jesus Christ in me the hope of glory.

amen

have i done it??

have i pushed you away?
have i hurt you?
have i said something wrong?
or is it something im doing?
cos it hurts so much
and it feels like ive done it
that im doing something wrong
that im losing those i love most
what have i gota do to change it?
i need you to tell me
all i want is to stay been your friend
but do you want that?
im sorry.

first week - OVER

the past week has had its ups and downs. cant believe how fast its gone already...one week left and the holiday is over!! ive done quite a lot this past week and have quite a lot planned for next so its gonna go pretty quickly i guess.

i havent really got anything i want to blog about....so i just thought id post a simple blog to say hello. got things on my heart id appreciate prayer for but at this moment in time i dont wanna share them...God knows what they are though and thats all that matters.

PART ONE!

im doing the last piece of coursework now....and its drama!! drama is 3stages...

part 1 - comparing the piece your doing and another piece..so the two pieces im comparing are blood brothers and blue remembered hills (the second one being the piece im performing for my exam)

part 2 - team work

part 3 - the actual exam

so right now im doing my part 1....really cant be bothered...ive got my notes infront of me and now i need to write it!! the good thing with the part 1 is you can improve it as many times as you want....the total mark is out of 10. so yeah writing it now...hmm pretty boring!!

when it all hits home....

osmosis was good tonight...we watched our movies and oh were they funny!!! and then jason spoke and it gave me a lot to think about...we did a thing at the start where we said to someone what makes a good friend, so i was chatting to matt about it and we had a pretty good chat and said what makes a good friend to us....then jase spoke about knowing about God and actually knowing God. he gave us some examples of things about knowing whats right and wrong and spoke about a toy car with no batteries and how it works better with batteries and how our relationship with God is better when we know God not just knowing about God. he then asked a question....whos ever been lied to? and did it hurt? man how it made me think about certain things and YES it has hurt and somethings still do. what a simple question to ask but thinking about it after he asked it....so many things came into my head and really did make me think. he also spoke about how if we know God we have the best life. we worshiped God after and i just gave so much to God...the songs we sang were about "you are my rock in times of trouble" and "almighty God" and "i have no-one in heaven but you" and "who was and is to come" but i just feel there are people who have lied to me and hurt me...especially recently and you know when you find out about it and it hurts, real bad and you dont know what to do...whether to ask the person about it and be honest or to forget about it? and you just try and brush it past but you still think about it...guess i gotta pray on that one!!

went to school today for drama....we were there 10 til 3! but we did loadsa work and i feel confident about my exam now...we were also marked on our part2(for those of you who didnt do drama at school or Alevel basically its team work) and so we got our final mark for that and were able to run through our GCSE piece twice with no stops before we went home!! so after a lot of hassel with that its finally done...so we know the little sections we need to work on before our exam and then it'll all be good!!! but i have got carpet burn and i did hurt my leg!! haha, but never mind!

ALSO the mcdonalds things....i know the LCET workers eat mcdonalds!! guys please can i have your vouchers!!! i wanna win something!! haha.

the adventure of Briggsy and Claire....

me and claire went to london today to see blood brothers. was really good...we had to ask 2 guys selling papers how to get to the theatre though and claire had to buy a paper from one of them which was pretty funny!! we then got to the theatre after getting the tube for no reason as it took us further away from the theatre!! we got there with 5mins to spare and got our seats. it was a really good show, ive been it before but needed to see it for my drama GCSE exam as i need to write about it. the bit at the end always makes me jump where mickey and eddie get shot! on the way home it was quite a laugh, we ran to catch the tube and caught it fine....though we didnt have much personal space and then when we got the kings cross we found out our train home was in and ran and got there JUST in time....the doors started to close on me as i got on!!!! but we had a good day and it was fun!!

mcdonalds monopoly...

as sad as this is gonna sound....if you have mcdonalds in the next couple of weeks and get the monopoly things and you aren't collecting them...would you like to be kind and give them to me!??!

basically i need like one of each colour or something for the good prizes!! =]

haha how sad do i sound!!!!!

how i HATE tape players!!

well for my lovely spanish speaking exam i have my questions recorded onto tape....but i hate taper players!! for a start i didnt even own one anymore and had to go and buy one...£5! not bad really when they used to be like £30!! ha...but anyway...from not using a tape player in years...its not so easy to use!! i'd forgot how you have to keep turning the tape around when you have rewinded it etc!! argh!! would be so much easier on cd or on my ipod!! i also have the fear that im gonna end up losing all my questions cos the bloomin thing will chew up the tape!! so i hope it doesnt!! right ok...got it working...listening to it now!!

adios!

The car wash experience!!

me and mum desided today that the car was in need of a clean and we've said for ages we will go and have a car wash, so today we did!! it was quite amusing. mum looked so worried as the machine started to clean it and there was one point where the machine looked like it was gonna go straight through the windscreen!! was quite funny. but the car after the car wash, does not really look that much cleaner!! ha. but it was quite a laugh to have the car wash. dont think mum will be taking the car for another anytime soon though and she was not impressed with how it cleaned the car - a waste of a fiver!!

other news - i brought narnia on DVD today!

drained..

is how im feeling. im so tired. didnt sleep well last night. got up and revised this morning and then went for lunch with mum and debbie(my bros Fiancé) was nice to just chill out with them and take our minds off things. ive been listening to worship this afternoon and just singing out praises to God. i think God really was reminding me of something last night and the chat me,mum and deb had at lunch confirmed it....life is to short to argue. who knows what is going to happen tomorrow, or the next day or the next. remember me saying about that video we watched a few weeks back at alpha that was the theme of that video and i feel God just saying to me sort things out with those i have problems with. let them know i still love them, let them know im sorry, let them know they are special, let them know im still speaking to them. on sunday i think was the start of that. i was praying for someone last night who i havent spoken to in a few weeks, and i know i need to talk to him, i know i need to sort things out with him properly and ive gota trust God to give me the chance to do that. i was talking to hannah this morning and was saying to her about how God will let something happen if God wants it to happen and God knows what is best for us and when things should or shouldnt happen. ive just gotta wait for that time in some of the situations and really trust God to be there and trust that God knows what is best.

sometimes we think we know best, we know what we want to happen and get annoyed and upset when it doesnt. i read someones blog today...and read some of the older posts and i guess it made me think how sometimes we get annoyed when we dont get the outcome we want...even if we may know in our hearts it is the right outcome if we dont get it....

but God knows best. and i guess we have to learn to trust 100% even when it can be really hard to do and when we dont want to because we arent getting what we want. i can think of things in my life that i want to be happening that arent but i know God has a reason why they arent happening and they may happen, they may not, but i have to trust God and just wait....

think ive been challenged a lot lately, about waiting and about trusting God 100%. think God is just tapping me on the shoulder going "come on gill, just trust me and wait and be patient, ive got it all planned" and so i need to do that!!

ive had a lot of deep chats with people the last few days, ive got a lot of things off my chest that needed to be said and im pleased they;ve been said. they havent been the easiest conversations to have, and i havent enjoyed having them, but i think they had to be had and its good they were.

so now is the time for me to trust 100% with the situations ive got, especially a certain one, but i know God is in the centre of it and is working there and ive just gotta wait for the outcome. whether it is the outcome i want, i dont know, but i know whatever the outcome, it will be the best for me as God has it all planned....

il get by with a lil help from my friends....

so yeah when you have loads going on in your life all you want is your mates to be there and support you. and i think my mates have done a pretty good job. guys i wanna thank you all for praying for my family at this time and thank you all for just been there and for continuing to pray for me and my family =] you are all really special and i love you all x

when praying at infinity for my family - all i could see was BRIGHT BRIGHT YELLOW and it really was making my eyes sting how bright it was but i couldnt open my eyes but when i did i felt peace.

really though - this is a blog to say thank you, for the love and support from everyone at this time.

infinity has mypace!

well seeing as i found out so many people read my blog who i didnt actually know did - i would like to ask you all to view this website....

http://groups.myspace.com/infinityluton

issues getting sorted...

you know when you know you have to face up to something even when you really dont want to. well i felt God making me face up to quite a few things tonight. hmm...there has been things on my heart for a few weeks with different things ive needed to face up to with different people. i went round my friends today(hi saph!) and we had a long chat about things which was really cool and i feel we've sorted out problems and now are close again which is nice. and then tonight....i felt God telling me i needed to address my problems with hannah and tasha and be completly honest with everything. so thats what i did and thats what they did. for an hour and a half we spoke about everything and i mean everything, some things were said which we probably didnt wanna hear but they needed to be said in order to clear the air and im glad they were said. there was one other thing i felt God telling me to do....which ive done and now ive gotta wait for the outcome...am worried about it and scared about it and i hope i havent messed things up by doing it. but i felt that it needed to be done. so im feeling more at peace now, and i hope that now when ever i have a problem with someone it can be spoke about and sorted. theres someone i know i need to speak to still and ive just gotta wait for the right time and trust God...

new blog yet again!

my mate saph has made a blog..so read it!! dont worry she aint really weird! we just enjoy taking the mic and catching jokes! so read her blog! x x

http://soup-saph.blogspot.com/

THERES A NEW BLOG FOR YOU TO READ

my friend phanny gaynor aka naomi has made a blog!!! VISIT IT AT http://www.naomi-choud.blogspot.com be there or be square!!

HEAR ME

was the exhibition LCET put on. it was about self harm and art work done by those who self harm. it was so moving to wonder around listening to an audio that had been put together by young people who self harm. it was so upsetting to hear what they said and to look at the work that had been produced. i found it really intresting and really moving. i know people who self harm and never had thought much behind the reasons why, but listening to the audio made me think about those i know who self harm. the one thing that well stick was - IM THE SAME AS YOU... BUT WHEN YOU HURT YOU TALK... WHEN I HURT I CUT. a really intresting exhibition and very emotional.

view either Chris or Toms blog or visit the LCET website as they have things about the exhibition on them.