i am....

going to admit when i am struggling and need help this week. that is what i set myself to do at church. so yeah...lets start right now shall we.....i HATE school at the minute and i know hate is a strong word. people seem so fake and that they are putting on a act depending upon who they are with. and people are also been very bitchy and telling me who they hate and two mins later i see them with that person acting like they are best friends. when i tell them to tell the person how they feel they just snap at me. it has really gotten to me. so yeah right now that is what im finding hard and it really has gotten to me.

ive been so crap this week at being in contact with people. i just havent bothered to text or ring to see how people are doing. its not cause i havent had the time because i have, its just because i havent bothered. i feel at the minute that im not showing people the love they deserve and to everyone reading this if you feel ive been a bit off with you - i am sorry - its nothing you have done - its just the way im feeling at the minute.

Jude said something tonight when preaching - when we get asked how we are, we often answer with "im fine thanks" when we arent. and that really hit home. i feel that i do that sometimes because i prefer not to talk about what is wrong and think its easier to just respond that way.

lots for me to reflect upon.......