Time out....

i realised something the last couple of days. everything has got to much, all the small things which have been happening have built up and really gotten to me! know how i realised this...because sunday night i started crying after church, last night i started crying before infinity and then when i got to infinity i started crying in cell! i havent felt myself the last few days and ive just tried to ignore it. i never usually cry unless something major has happened. i think God is telling me i need some time out and need to slow down and take one thing at a time. so many things have been going on and each has carried its own stress and its all become to much. i just wanted to hide under my duvet last night and cry. tonight when i got home from school i wanted to cry as my exams went AWFUL but then naomi rang me and we had a really long chat and she cheered me up. it feels at the moment like im been weighed down and i just need to be realised. had a good chat with mum last night though and she made me realise something - she said God wouldnt put more upon me than i could handle and there is a way out and i just need to life how im feeling to God and trust God. i hadnt really thought about this to be honest and when i did i realised it was true. Tom said to me about my exams that what ever happens, happens. and this actually is really true and i know i need to worry less about them. a few other people have said that to me aswell - they are at the end of the day only my mocks and not the real exam and yeah they re important but i need to remember that i can improve and not worry and what every1 has said is very true. the exams today went awful but like mum said they are over and now i need to look towards the next exams. i know at the minute im looking at a lot of things negitivly and ive realised that i need to take myself away from things and look after myself for a while and put myself first.....i dont want to sound selfish saying that but i have realised if i dont im going to continue to feel like i do at the moment. christine has been a star....for comforting me on sunday night and for just been there and been so great and listening.....its ment so much that she has just listened to me and all i wanna say is thank you christine and i love you. things are hard at the moment and i know i need to admit that....i need to admit it to myself and i think ive realised it finally and it has sunk in. in 2weeks its the holiday and its gunna be a break from everything and thats what i need right now, a break....! tasha has been great aswel and im really thankful to her for listening when ive wanted a chat. so many people have been so great and im so thankful to God that i have awesome people around me that can support me through the tough times aswell as the good times.i had a really long chat with my bro last night as he got me from infinity and i dont see him as much now since hes moved but anyway i went round his for a bit cos mum was there and me and him had a really good chat and he was really sweet and has said when things get to much if i just want sometime away from everything to ring him and i can go round his and his gfs house. this ment a lot to know i can just go and chill as his. once tomorrow is over school will be better, i have done 5exams so far and tomorrow i have exams all day so once tomorrow is over il have done 8exams! so its a big difference and then il have 6left to do! im going out with claire for dinner on thursday which im really looking forward to. will be able to have a good chat with her. Thank you to all those praying for me at the min, especially to my cellgroup, christine, tom, gareth and tash.well this blog is going on a lot and quite negitive sorry.....