The Blog of Briggsy's life.....

kickball

2006-11-27T23:31:00.000Z

i blogged back in the day when i was still in school about a video we watched at alpha...i was searching on youtube for this video cos i wanted to watch it again....

kickball

it spoke the same message....watch it, see what you get out of it....

we dont need....

2006-11-05T23:17:00.000Z

to dress a certain way. or to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. or to hang with a certain crowd. or to look a certain way. or to say certain words. or listen to certain music. or change depending who we are with. or try to fit in.

God loves us just how we are. there really are no catches. i know ive posted a blog similar to this before. but really it is so true, and so often we forget about it. i listened to a talk tonight at church, from a lady called Sarah who lives out in Romania. she is from Luton, and has gone out there to help set up safe homes, and give the kids out there the love they deserve. Sarah was only a couple of years older than me when she went out there, and now 5-6years later she has set up a charity called Romanian Relief. now listening to her talk tonight and watching a video thats been put together, and seeing how some of the kids live out there and how they are treated, really really really made me realise just how much i take things for granted and to be honest how selfish i can be. and just listening to her talk, made me think again about all i listed at the begining of this blog. and really how those things wont and cant make us completely happy. we are loved by God just how we are. and really i wanted to share that. cos God loves us all just how we are, and those things may make us happy for a while but if we ask ourselves deeply if they will make us happy forever, the answer would probably be no. we need to be more grateful for what we have, cos we have it good compared to some people, and i just felt that once again on my heart tonight. and want you guys to think about all you have and how you have it good too.

it's bloomin' freezin' !!

2006-11-01T15:05:00.000Z

im so cold today!! cant seem to get warm, winter is definatly on its way!! yesterday was a good day for me in the sense of reflecting and talking through how i have been feeling. i had a really long chat with someone about it, i hadnt planned to go and talk to them about it, but we were chatting and i just started talking about everything that has been on my mind lately and just talking about how i have been feeling at many different things which have been getting to me. i just felt so much more peace in my heart once i had spoken about it, almost as though i was realising it, and not keeping it all held back. i just felt God had placed that person there for a reason to listen yesterday, and i was so glad to be able to offload how i have been feeling.

"our God is an awesome God he regins, from heaven above with wisdom, power and love our God is an awesome God." those words have been on my mind since i went to LCF a few weeks back and we were singing those words, and so often i think i forget how awesome God is and how God has the power to do anything, nothing is to big for God and we just have to trust God. i think that with things with me at the moment, i just have to trust God, and i know God knows best and i think i just have to allow God to work in how God is going to work and not doubt or worry but trust, which can be a scary thing to do, but i think its what i need to do, and i think thats why those words are really sticking in my heart as a way of remembering just how AMAZING God is.

the whole "yes" "no" and "wait" are also things ive been thinking about when i have been praying, i was re-reading my prayer diary which i havent written in for ages, but i went through a stage of writing down my prayers, and just re-reading it and looking at how prayers have been answered, i can see why they have been answered how they have now, when they havent always been answered how i have wanted them to be at the time!!

anyway Y'all - Peace out x

and i was right about it all crashing down...

2006-10-31T12:39:00.000Z

sunday evening i felt awful, id done the talk at encounter(11-14yr olds) in the morning, which i thought went really well and then in the afternoon id been out with the amazing miss macfie :) then i got to church and had loasda things playing on my mind, i sat on my own, cos no1 was really there my age, and i sat at the front still, and it was good, it gave me a time to listen and think, when the service finished all i wanted to do was cry but i didnt and got to elbow room. the worship started and the song "i can only imagine" was being sung, i sat down and was just thinking about everything, cos thats the song which i listened to when my nan died two years ago, so its a song pretty close to my heart, hannah come and said to me lets go outside, and i just completely broke, but i managed to calm myself down and stop crying and went back in to listen to the talk Mark was doing. the talk really hit a nerve for me, it was about holes we have in our heart which still need to be filled, and arguements came to my mind straight away because of things when i was younger. we were then watching a powerpoint and i could feel my eyes watering again, then everyone got up to sing and i stayed sitting and again i broke, this time i couldnt stop crying and just sat there crying and crying, i felt really drained after it, but i felt better after i had cried. i got home and just spoke to someone about something and really told him about why i hate arguments and really opened up to him about it.

yesterday at infinity Lyns did the talk, and it was all about guidence, there were a few things she said which i really felt were speaking out to me, about not rushing into things, and taking our time, and even if we chose the wrong door, we will still get to where God wants us to be.

but yeah - im still not feeling great but feel better now ive had a good cry and just been able to start speaking to people about how im feeling instead of holding it all in and not talking about it and letting it get me down even more.

it is a bit of a rollorcoaster....

2006-10-28T23:45:00.000+01:00

thats how im feeling at the minute. i feel as though im at the top and waiting to drop before building back up and reaching the straight part again. i dont really know what brought it all on, i thought things were going alright. but recently ive felt kinda rubbish about things and its really impacted on my mood. but i hope it is just a phase and it will pass soon.

also want to say that i love both of these girls very much, and ive been a pretty crap friend to the both of them recently and said things i regret, but they both are very special and will always have a place in my heart. we have all been through so much together and they are both amazing, special and beautiful people, who are like my sisters aswell as my best friends xxx

the power of prayer....

2006-10-22T23:05:00.000+01:00

i had prayer tonight at church, the service was all about community and i just felt God talking to me about college, so i went for prayer and the last few days ive been feeling really sensitive and not been sure why, although i can think of a few things, so i had prayer and i prayed. and the lady who prayed with me was chatting to me. and she said something and i thought to myself, wow, why do we worry.

she said to me....

the past is the past, there is nothing we can do to change it, so we may as well let it go and not let it beat us up.

the present is now

and who knows what the future will bring.

it just really made me think. cos i was thinking about the past and all thats happened and how often il beat myself up about different things that have happened when really, i may as well forget and move on because theres nothing i can do about it. so i should just use it as a learning point.

i went to elbow room after church, and i felt really down but was telling most people i was fine. but then i opened up to Joe, Hannah, Chris, Sim and Jonny. they were all really sweet and were comforting me with hugs. i had a well long chat with Joe about how im feeling and we were just chatting it through and it was really good to open up to him about things.

i just feel like curling up in a ball at the minute and crying. and i really duno why. ive felt like it for the past few days, but i know i just need to lift things up to God, not beat myself up, and trust in God.

so its what im gonna do....

this and that

2006-10-15T23:30:00.000+01:00

sooo life at the mo as a whole is really good. my driving is coming along great, i love it so much :D and i cant wait until i can drive :D my theory test is very soon, wish me luck!! i really hope i pass it first time around :) and then once that is done, i can think about the practical! ive had 14lessons in the space ona month! woah im keen!! but its soooo much fun!!! im learning all my turns now, 4 more things to learn and briggsy has learnt all she needs to! yeaaaaah man!!

college....if you wanna know about that then chat to me about it, i cant be bothered to write it all up!

i saw the world trade centre film yesterday, i found it really moving, and just watching and knowing it really happened was extremely moving aswell...God bless all those who have been effected by that day.

well M'dears....hope your all well

loves and hugs for each and everyone of you

xxx

and one final thing....

2006-09-28T23:52:00.000+01:00

i caught up with lots of people today and it was great doing so. quite a few people i hadnt spoken to in a while and so it was great to have a proper catch up. i do love my friends ever so.

peace out homies x

new hair

2006-09-28T23:48:00.000+01:00

heres the pictures of my new hair....

quality night at the cinema!!

2006-09-28T23:44:00.000+01:00

i went cinemas tonight with Sim, Jonny and Tasha! and it was so much fun!! we were the only people in the screening!! was sucha laugh and i really enjoyed it and the film was quite good too...we saw telladega nights (i think thats spelt right!) but we had a laugh and i really enjoyed it. we saw Rob after too which was cool :-)

so i had a really good night, and i love them guys so much!!

but now my bed is calling me...i have college in the morning!!! xx

17

2006-09-24T23:11:00.000+01:00

so im 17 now, havent blogged in quite a while. so whats new in the world of briggsy??

ive started learning to drive, its all going well, i have had 6lessons in the space of not even two weeks...a tad keen....yup!! but its all going good and im really enjoying it so hopefully il pass quick and things and it will all be good.

college is going ok....i really disliked it to start with and found it really boring, but its getting better, ive made lots of new friends which is always a good thing :D and i dropped one of my subjects so now im enjoying it more too.

ive dyed my hair....see my myspace for pictures....http://myspace.com/babybriggsy

and the LCET service and elbow room both really spoke out to me that night. i just felt God saying to me i need to make a difference in college, and i need to go out there and everyone i meet in college let them know im a christian and invite them along to things which i have been doing my best to do this best two weeks. and at elbow room i felt God readdressing in me that i dont need a boyfriend to make me happy, or to dress a certain way, or act a certain way, or fancy someone...i have God and that is the greatest gift.

these words spoke to me at elbow room that week....

"i found a love greater than life itself
ive found a hope stronger and nothing compares
i once was lost but now im alive in you"

anyway my dears, i hope your all good and things, update me with whats happening with you all! id love to hear from you all

peace out xxx

a bunch of things...

2006-09-07T13:11:00.000+01:00

ive started college now, i started yesterday, i didnt really enjoy yesterday though, i found it quite boring ,but today i had my first ever lesson there, english lang and i really enjoyed it, i have a lovely class, and i think i was one of the only people in there who didnt know anyone!! but it was cool, me being me, i was soon chatting to people and ive made some new friends, and in tutor yesterday i made some new friends too!! so im enjoying it today. im on my frees at the min, so im just at home, i dont have to go back in until 2.40. but yeah, im really enjoying making new friends, its all good.

i start driving on tuesday at 3pm!! exciting stuff!! i cant wait. i cant believe im going to be 17 though, its crazy how fast the past year has gone!! and how much has happened in the space of a year!! yesterday i went to a youth thing at our church which was put on by hightown baptist, i really enjoyed it, Andy did a talk, and i found it useful and the worship was good too. before the worship began, Luke said there were 3 birthdays this month, and they didnt get one person a card as he didnt know until then it was their birthday, that was me!! but i was asked to stand up by Luke and the other two people came to the front aswell and they sang happy birthday to us!! was embarasing!!!! and i could just see hannah laughing!! but it was sweet especially cos i dont go to their church!

in other news, im still applying and looking for jobs, the right job will come along im sure,i just have to wait for it to happen and not get stressed about it. i went quite deep on my myspace blog last night, so much has happened in the past two months and i realised how good we have it, and i got quite deep about it on my myspace blog.

ive also started going elbow room on sunday evenings after church, ive met some amazing people there and i find it really helpful to have christians my age around me and some of who go to college with me, who i wouldnt have met unless i started going to er. so thats cool too.

but yeah, thats enough from me now, ive got things i need to do before i go back to college!!!

laters people x

GCSE results...

2006-08-25T12:53:00.001+01:00

A - food tec
B - re
B - english lang
C - english lit ( they are appealing this cos of the van setting on fire!!)
C - maths
C - drama
DD - science
D - history
D - spanish
D - stats

so im very pleased with my food result and the fact i passed maths!! i went kinda crazy when i saw i got my A and had passed maths lol, made the teachers all smile cos i was the only one who started screaming i got an A and passed maths AHHHH!! lol. twas all good. bit gutted with the amount of Ds but nevermind. history is a dissapointment cos i used to be good at that and its really slipped!! spesh when my coursework was an A! and science i was 12marks from CC!!

3-40am!!

2006-08-11T03:44:00.000+01:00

its sooooo early!! im going to majorca today with me mum for a week!! so in an hour or just under we will be at the airport!! i only got about an hour and a half sleep! so im quite tired! and its freezing!!! hope everyone has a great week...and those going soul survivor, ignite or on their on holiday hav a great time and il see some of you in 2weeks insted of one!!!

laterz people x

tomorrow is a year since.....SOUL SURVIVOR

2006-08-08T13:48:00.000+01:00

mr boogies and the guys on stage - YMCA!!!!!!!
main worship tent!!!!
sam and jamie with their friend they met at the skate park!!
a crew of us on the last day and me feeling fed up!!!
the main worship tent!
soul survivor!! gosh we had such a great time last year and i just wanted to post about it, cos thinking back on it, it really was a highlight of my summer last year and i enjoyed it so much and its a real shame i havent been able to go this year. i really met with God last year at soul survivor in a way i had never met with God before. i was thinking about it last night, and just reflecting about how God worked in me and others in that week. just thinking back about relationships that were formed with everyone who went from stmarys and LCF. and we had a great time. its amazing to think a year has passed in such a short amount of time, but it was a fantastic summer last year. and il really miss not going to soul survivor again this year. enjoy the pictures which show a variety of what we did!

kindness is more than just being "nice"

2006-08-06T22:46:00.000+01:00

thats what the sermon at church was about tonight!! and i enjoyed and got a lot from it. this morning at church i felt god tell me i needed to make my peace with someone and i was like no i really dont want to do it incase i look stupid or whatever and i didnt really know why i needed to say sorry but i felt i had to. then church came tonight and i was like no il pass its fine, il just smile and leave it at that!! but then i felt God kick me up the backside and say your doing it in my strength now go! and i was like ahhhh no i dont want to im not ready to!!! and the woman preaching said something about frowning at someone insted of smiling at them and i was like hitting home a bit! and i was thinking to myself, i just need to do it, god obviously wants me to, so at the end i went and said sorry and hope everything is cool now. that person knows who they are, and i just hope we can go back to being friends, but we'll see what god wants to happen i guess!!

myspace is the new craze!

2006-07-07T00:20:00.000+01:00

nobody seems to be blogging anymore!! seems like myspace is now the "in thing" saying that though - hairy has blogged and so has hannah!!

i go on holiday a week saturday for 2weeks - am going costa del sol - cant wait, will be nice to get out of luton and have a break and a chance to learn my head, so much seems to have happened in such little time and its crazy. i was just thinking today, 11months has passed since soul survivor, that has gone so quickly!! good times there, il really miss not going this year and spending time with the people who were there last year, we had such a great time.

in other news....had my college taster days at 6th form, am looking forward to going there. shall be good, and met lots of people and stuff which is cool, looking forward to making lots of new friends, shall be fun.

i havent really got much else to say, cos i havent been doing much since i left school...spent a lot of time in town!!

ohhh and that storm on tuesday - read Toms blog about it and go on the comments - then you can read what happened to me, i cant be bothered to type it out again!!

hope everyone is good. x

prom

2006-07-01T01:37:00.000+01:00

was wicked. i loved it so much. so glad i went. i feel so emotional now though, thats the last time im gonna see some of them people for a very long time =[ everyone looked stunning and i can truly say now im gonna miss my year!! there was no bitchyness at the prom, everyone was getting along and at the end everyone was hugging and stuff. was great. gonna miss everyone so much.

4hrs...20mins....

2006-06-23T11:05:00.000+01:00

and school will be over!!! i got my cooking exam at 1.15 til 3.15. im looking forward to doing to...food is my best subject so im looking forward to the exam....and besides that as i got the highest mark in the year on my courswork i need...

9% for a C
33% for a B
57% for a A
81% for a A*

and in my mock i got 73% which no revision...ive revised now....so i hope i get an A or A* in it =] id be so happy if i do. so im looking forward to doing the exam and then having the freedom of doing nothing.

all my other exams have gone ok as well. im glad they are done. i was thinking in this month, weekdays wise, ive only had 4days of doing nothing. so it'l be nice to have a nice long summer now and school been out not just for summer but forever!!

in other news im looking for a job...ive applied at 14places in the last week, so i really hope some of them get back to me.

well yeah....im off.

peace out x

waheeeey!

2006-06-13T18:02:00.000+01:00

todays been so much fun!!! got to school about 9-30ish and we ran at by two guys in my year who decided to sign my shirt where everyone would see....im not going to write it on here lol, but you can probably guess....they left their handprints.....

so anyway! i walked into the dinner hall and we were all signin eachothers shirts, taking lots of pictures and just getting excited. then i got my leavers form signed by subject teachers saying id returned books....once all this has happened is was ASSEMBLY TIME!!!

the assembly was great....so many laughs and one teacher got booed!! they gave out funny awards for people for lil jokey things which was fun!!! then we had the goodluck speech and we were free to go!!! BUT not before getting our year books!!!

SCHOOL IS OVER!!! WHOOOO!! still got some exams but officially its done now!!! so happy!!

then i went for lunch with some mates and then into town!! so yeah my day has been GREAT! ive really enjoyed it!!! its the end of an era now!!! 11years of education = OVER!!! am looking forward to november when we have our awards evening and seeing how everyone has changed!!! but its done.

STOPSLEY HIGHSCHOOL 2001-2006!

LEAVERS DAY!!!!!!

2006-06-13T08:28:00.000+01:00

today is our leavers day whoooo! im pretty excited. am already to go, just waiting for ma friend to come to mine!!! am all dressed up and really looking forward to today!! its going to be fun!! i'll blog about it later. WAHEEEY WE'RE LEAVING!

good mood now!!

2006-06-09T23:24:00.000+01:00

sorry for the bad mood earlier guys. today has been one of those days, my history exam didnt go great and it was one of my biggest worrys, im not the only one who found it crap tho!!! all the other exams have gone good tho and im pleased with how they have gone. only 6exams left!! 3next week and 3 the week after and only one more in the afternoon, the rest are in the morning!! i hate exams in the afternoon as by then my hayfever is worse!! the guy who was invidulating our exam yesterday thought i was crying as my eyes were streaming, i was like no its my hayfever can i have a tissue please!! but back to history there is two history papers, this was the harder one, so hopefully il gain the marks back with the one next week and also my coursework is an A. i was annoyed though, i revised for it loads and then found it hard!! and then i found something out and argh lol, but now im happy. had a great night at tashas, with tash,han,greg and lou!!! we had fun =] love them guys, they cheered me up. made me realise it dont matter. but yeah im in a good mood now, and am loving myspace, and meeting new people, dont you agree tasha!!!??

have a good weekend everyone and be happpppppyyyy

england are playing tomorrow waheeeey!!!

get over it!!!!!

2006-06-09T20:32:00.000+01:00

why do people always drag up the past!!! i am so pissed off, people need to learn to get over things and move on!!! arggghhhh!!!! what is the bloody point tho!!! ahhh. no-one cares. ahh man! i hate the whole people judging you thing. ive had it enough and now im well pissed off!!!!!!!

countdown.....

2006-06-05T22:39:00.000+01:00

Get your own countdown at BlingyBlob.com

quiet time

2006-06-02T23:22:00.000+01:00

i spent a good 30/40minutes on my own praying today.....i was with hannah and chris and we went for a walk to cemy lodge and i went for a walk on my own and just spent it thinking and praying....i realised a lot today.....how there are somethings i think ive given to God and i have but im wanting different outcomes and not waiting for God to work there. i also just prayed about a few things ive found out lately, telling God how i feel. i felt really emotional whilst praying, i was just really getting it off my chest and pouring it out to God. and then tonight at osmosis Jase was chatting about how God knows everything and God is everywhere, and i was like i know this....but just listening to it....it felt as though God was tapping me on the shoulder going...."gill i am here, give it up to me" and just after praying this afternoon i felt as though God was saying, in your busy life, make time to praise me and tell me how your feeling. i was looking at the train track from where i was sitting and was watching the trains and i was thinking about how life is a journey and God has it all planned out. and at the end Lynsey and Luke sang "be my everything" that song has spoke out to me so many times and tonight it did, i felt God was really saying to me, "in your waiting, in your hurting, in your healing, i will be your everything" and in good and bad im always going to be there and i always will care. so i got a lot out of today....although today hasnt been great as a whole, my time i spent with God was great and i really enjoyed it. i realised i need to spend more time like that with God =]

thank you!!

2006-06-01T23:32:00.000+01:00

had a lovely night, me hannah and tasha went to steves to see him and greg!! we got slightly lost on the way which was a laugh but we got there in the end and the guys cooked us dinner =] thanks guys i enjoyed it a lot and then we went to the park which was cool, after that we came back and spent about an hour/an hour and a half in prayer and worship which just candles giving us light, it was really nice, i really felt Gods presence and really enjoyed it, it was really good night, was great spending time was those four and just having tasha back from romania, steve back from scotland and greg back from london. i really enjoyed it =] im really looking forward to hanging out this summer with those four guys as they are so special.

other news....i went to the hospital, i was seen by a nurse who really hurt my leg, i told her she was hurting me and she went its just bruised you can go home!! so i didnt get much further and i wasnt a happy bunny when i came out the hospital cos i was in a bit of pain!!!

mash up!

2006-05-30T22:37:00.000+01:00

my leg is quite a state from where i fell....its now still swallen,very bruised and horrible...and my ankle has now gone a purple/black colour, so i think its time for me to go to hospital, so im going to go tomorrow. i hope i havent damaged it to badly =[

last night was the BEST

2006-05-28T17:42:00.000+01:00

my brothers engagment party was last night....it was sooo much fun. i am so happy for him and deb and love them both so much. it was such a good night...was so nice to see all his mates too who i havent seen for ages cos they are at uni...naomi,lou,hannah and chris came with me, and when they all went there was still an hour left of the party so my brothers friends stayed with me and were all dancing with me which was quite amusing. i requested a couple of songs which were played at mr boogies last year so was fun dancing to them!! even though i have a messed up leg...read the comments on my last post cos i wrote on the comment what happened. so i had a great night....was a good day considering how friday went.....3bad things happened....ive written two of them, and im not saying the third one on here but yeah. so i enjoyed last night. love you jonny nd deb x x x x

SHIT DAY

2006-05-26T15:49:00.000+01:00

sorry for the language but i am VERY annoyed. i have started my exams now...they are all going really good, spanish on monday went great, english lit on tuesday was brilliant, i couldnt have had better questions to write answers too and re today went well....so your probably wondering why is she pissed off....il tell you why....

MY ENGLISH LITERATURE EXAM HAS BEEN BURNT TO ASHES. the van which was taking our exams to be marked caught fire, the driver was unharmed, but our exam papers have been destroyed.( they dont know how the van caught on fire yet, they are invesigating into it ). now we dont have to do the exam again, they are looking at our oral and coursework grades and the predicted grades which were made 2weeks ago, which we don't know. i am so gutted, upset, angry, i duno how to really describe how im feeling, cos its mixed emotions. but when i found out the shock of it didnt hit me until about 10mins after. the music exams were also in the same van, but i dont take music so that hasnt effected me. but really im deverstated about it as i was so proud of myself with the effort i had put into the exam. so yeah...very bad day! but guess one good thing of it is that now im not on full timetable and only have to go to lessons if i wish to, if not, i can study at home.

all in all though...i am quite fed up.

how humiliating!!

2006-05-21T00:08:00.000+01:00

im going to share this with everyone who reads my blog and embarass myself so my lovely friends dont do it for me!! we went to pizzahut tonight for hannahs 17th birthday and the waitress was leaning over me, with the tray of drinks....there was one drink left on the tray and it didnt look like it was balanced very well...but i thought no, she knows what she is doing....but wait for it....have you guessed it...THE DRINK FELL OFF AND LANDED ALL OVER ME!!! i was soaked!! i had to borrow hannahs top and i was very embarrased!!! how unfortunate is that!! and everyone was like - briggsy it could only happen to you!! lol. we got a tenner off the bill though!! but yeah was an eventful night!! happy 17th hannah, hope you had a great day x x x

il miss these things....

2006-05-18T17:29:00.000+01:00

top left - my girlies in pe!! lol we do nothing!!
top right - me and kelly - the jokes we have in pe - just taking pictures!!
middle left - my maths class working hard!! middle right - me and my wannabee almas!!
and finally the picutre of the left - me and my gorgeous girlies who i spend so much of my time with - alisha,sarah,saph,rugova and me!! memories!!

so many small things im going to miss about school....i took 117 pictures today!! lol....have posted a few of them. i think as school is coming to an end....although i really want to leave, there are a lot of things il miss, especially the people and the small little jokes we have had! writing in our leavers books has been so emotional...just reading all the memories and stuff....tomorrow is the end of us on proper timetable!! 4weeks left come tomorrow, one month...wow. gonna go so quick!! exciting but also scary! il miss my chums tho even if i wont miss the place! =]

gillys is a good mood!

2006-05-17T22:47:00.000+01:00

todays been a really really good day!! i dont really know why - i just woke up this morning feeling really relaxed and then i had my 9 exams frm 10-20 til 3-30 with an hours lunch break and a 5min break at 11-05!! but they went good and then i came home and relaxed and then wrote saphias 24pages leaver message in her book whilst i was babysitting. so ive had a good day today and enjoyed it even though nothing great has happened im feeling really good and really positive =]

its a shame about arsenal but in some ways funny - my history teacher bet with the boys in my class that arsenal wouldnt win....they said they would....and now they all owe him a mars bar cos he got it right!! had he got it wrong he would have brought all of them one!! so next lesson should be quite amusing!!

hope everyone is ok =] x x x x

something ive learnt....

2006-05-16T21:39:00.000+01:00

when something goes wrong and you tell those close to you that your fine they know straight away your not!! and you can keep saying it and saying it and yet they still know you aint!! lol. i just been having a chat with hannah about a certain situation....and i was like im fine about it and she was like no your not!! lol. but yeah things are going good in my life about from one thing which has been consistant for a while now...but im trusting God with it and whatever happens will be Gods will =] but yeah i think its quite sweet those close to me can tell when something is wrong.....it means a lot.

my lovely friends....

2006-05-16T16:37:00.000+01:00

hannah, tasha and louise - i am so glad us four are all hanging out again....i love you girlies so much - you all give me so many jokes and we have so many memories already and are gonna get so many more so soon....you guys are great and so special and i never let you know how much i love you all x x x mwah x x x

pictures of soul survivor....

2006-05-16T16:27:00.000+01:00

the LCF crew
mr boogies - simon, tom and kieran
myself!
worship tent
stmarys crew!

for some reason when i write blogs i have to do the photos first i cant go back and put them up after so that is why they are up after my post!!

memories!!

2006-05-16T16:21:00.000+01:00

reading Toms blog this morning brought back a lot of memories! gosh we had so much fun when we went to soul survivor....i loved every minute of it. i often look back at the pictures and think back to the amazing time we had...from mr boogies....to the worship....to the talks....to just hanging out and getting to know people better. i really do think soul survivor was one of the best things of 2005 for me - i made some great friends there =] i cant go this year as im going away with mum for a week to spain....am gutted i cant go as it was so much fun last year, but i will go again next year all being well. but yeah just looking back and thinking and reflecting on all the memories it was great, they will remain, good,happy,fun time memories.

photos from the night!

2006-05-14T21:15:00.000+01:00

chris,matt,me,tash,louise and lyns
tasha, matt and me!
the gorgeous birthday girl
chris, tasha, louise, me, hannah and matt

greg, tasha,matt,me and chris

vickys 30th party

2006-05-14T21:11:00.000+01:00

was last night and it was so much fun. everyone looked gorgeous and it was one of the best parties ive been to in a while. i had the company of some wonderful people to the party - matt, chris, louise, tasha and hannah =] you guys made it fun. we joined the others at the party and just had a great time. vicky looked beautiful and it was just an awesome party. i had a great night - am very tired now though with my 1hours sleep - thanks matt,lou and tash!! hehe!! so im off to bed now....goodnight and have good week!!

peace out x

half crazy

2006-05-09T22:55:00.000+01:00

these lyrics were lyrics which naomi said to me 3years ago to listen to....when i had just split up with someone...and i was sitting on here tonight and it made me think about these lyrics again and something now....so thought id post them.....

La la la la la la la la laaaaaa
La laLa la la la la la laaaaaa
La la la la la la la la laaaaaa
La laLa la la la la la laaaaaa
La la laaaa

Never thought that we would ever be more than friends
Now I'm all confused cause for you I have deeper feelings
We both thought it was cool to cross the line
And I was convinced it would be alright
Now things are strange, nothings the same
And really I just want my friend back

And my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone
(oh can't get you out of my system)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on
(holding on)
Said my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone
(can't get you out of my system)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on
(yeah)

I'd hate walk away from you as if this never existed
Cause when we kissed the moment after I looked at you different
Lately I gotta watch what I say
Cause you take things personally nowadays
You used to laugh now you get mad
Damn I just want my friend back (yeah yeah)

And my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone
(oh can't get you out of my system)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on
(holding on yeah oh )
Said my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone
(can't get you out of my system yeah yeah)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on

oh oh oh oh oh yeah

What happened to the one I used to know
oh yeah yeah
The one I used to laugh and joke with
The one I used to tell all my secrets
We used to chill and be down for whatever whenever together yeah

And my mind's gone half crazy (oh) cause I can't leave you alone
(I'm going half crazy baby)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on
(over you yeah over you)
Said my mind's gone half crazy (yeah oh)
cause I can't leave you alone (and I just don't know)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on (said I just don't know what to do now)

listen
we used to chill yeah we used to hang yeah
we used to we used to do some many things together yeah
yeah yeah oh
yeah yeah oh
oh oh oh
yeah yeah
oh oh oh

ohh maaannn!!

2006-05-09T20:10:00.000+01:00

i had written a really long blog earlier and then my computer desided to crash!! gayyynesss!! lol

so il start again....

infinity was really good yesterday, i really enjoyed it. we are doing a series on relationships and last night were talking about sex. i really enjoyed cell time. normally il be like hmm yeah for things like this and think i know all there is i need to know, but last night i really enjoyed it, i was able to be honest in cell time, to start with i was thinking, shall i be, but then i thought well this is what cell is for!! so it was good =] i love infinity, although at the moment its not a massive youth group - its really nice because we are all friends.

school is going so quick, i have 28 school days left and then everything is over, done and dusted. im ready for the exams now, normally i leave revision to the last minute, and i have again but im ready to sit the exams now, and am looking forward to doing them. its weird, ive been thinking a lot lately and had a lot of conversations with people about when we leave and keeping in touch. its one thing to chat on msn but another thing to meet up. i honestly think there will only be certain people who i want to meet up with and catch up with and there will be many people who i say "hi how are you" if i see them in a street!

saturday is the start of the parties for me, i have quite a few parties this month and next which i am really looking forward to. but the ones this month i need to make sure im not to tired after them as i need to spend weekends revising now!!

on myspace i have been receiving the same bulliton for a while - about a girl called anna who died 6days before her 16th birthday. i havent been on her myspace, but last night when i got the bulliton i went on it. its so upsetting to read all her comments from all her friends who miss her so much. if you have time = check out her myspace....

Anna

i cant actually remember what else i had written so it obviously wasnt that important!! but yeah im doing good at the min, things are going well and im happy =]

summer sun

2006-05-06T11:34:00.000+01:00

so summer is here!! the weather has been great lately. i love this time of year, when you can go to the park in the evenings and it isnt dark early so you can stay out late. i remember this time last year - me, tasha, hannah, dan and rob were always going on picnics! they were so much fun. i hope this year will be as good. last year was a really good year as far as im concerned and i hope this year, even though things are a lot different will be just as good =] really glad the weather is good again, time for pretty shoes again!! hehe =] its strange cos the last year has flow by - i remember this time last year, saying goodbye to my friends in yr11, and the year before and even the year before that!! and now its me leaving. gosh high school has gone quick, seems like only yesterday i was leaving primary school. but its been nice lately, cos lots of my primary school friends and me have got back in touch - (the genius of myspace!) im still looking forward to leaving, only 30school days left!! not bad really!! it will go quick. 7weeks yesterday and everything will be done and dusted and over! wow! will go quick! but im glad its summer, can look forward to going on holiday now. yaaay!

forgiveness - this may not make much sense to some, but it does to me!

2006-05-06T11:24:00.000+01:00

"forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us" <-- that is something we say when we take communion. its communion tomorrow at church, and that is a line tomorrow in the Lords prayer which i know il have meant. this week has been pretty good. but like most know, last sunday wasnt. and there was someone i was really angry at and hurt by which has been building up over a few weeks now. but i prayed about it, and God healed me quickly. i can truly say they are forgiven in my heart. i dont 'hate' them or anything like that, i never did. they are forgiven.

ive been thinking about forgiveness a great deal the past week. "i am forgiven because You was forsaken" are words which come to me as i write this. forgiveness is a hard thing to do and mean it. its so much easier to say you have forgiven someone than actually doing it. i learnt this a while back, but i managed to forgive that person from a while back not so long ago....but that took ages, but i let go and risked losing them, and thats what im doing again this time. God has a plan, God has a reason behind everything. God has our lives mapped out and knows whats going to happen. and i know this in my head and heart, sometimes it can be hard to believe it when things go wrong but i know its true.

so yeah basically what im trying to say is, that person is forgiven.

yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2006-05-05T15:38:00.000+01:00

i am so happy!! spanish went really well - my teacher told me after the exam that i did well so im all happy there. but theres not just one thing im happy about.....oh no.....i got my dt cooking coursework grade back today - and guess what guys - gilly got the highest mark in the year!! check me!!! 89 out of 95!! whooooo!!! and i need 81% in the exam for a A* and 57% for a A!! and in my mock i got 73% with no revision....so an A* is in site!!! i am SOOOOOOOOOOOO proud of myself for getting highest in the year and so proud i got through spanish too =] so im in a very very good mood!! me and my lovely girlies hannah and tasha are going pizzahut to celebrate!! lol xxxx

feel sick!

2006-05-04T22:53:00.000+01:00

lol...im ready for my exam, ive been through it all tonight and i know it all....there are 2topics i hate....really hope they wont be the unseen topic and praying it will be one of the two i like!! hehe....am feeling bit sick now though with nerves!! i can do it though....i know the answers and i know i can do it. Gods gonna be there with me and it will be fine =]

the normal kinda day

2006-05-04T15:50:00.000+01:00

todays been nothing special!! just the normal kinda day. the weather is really nice though!! but its not to good when your in a class room period 5 and your baking hot!! but in pe i didnt have to do anything so i had an hour off before lunch, so we all just sat chatting in the sun which was nice, and was good to relax before my exam tomorrow. not sure how im feeling about the exam tomorrow - im worried but then other parts of me are looking forward to doing it! i just want it to be over and done with!! so tonight is going to be spent doing last minute revision!! hope everyone has had a good day and please pray for me tomorrow morning =] much love x x x

drama exam

2006-05-03T22:30:00.000+01:00

we had our drama exam today.....we were in dt first lesson and someone got us and told us to go to drama, and then it was sprung on us = we had our exam, there and then!!!! it didnt go as good as it could have, there were technical hicups, and on the first scene where we were running around we had to fall on the floor and one of the boys kicked me in the head by mistake with his shoe and i felt really dizzy for the rest of it!!! but we kept going and didnt stop! it really hurt though!! but its done now....we all felt we've done better, but at least its over. it wasnt fair we had no warning that we had it today though!! but ahhh well its done!!!

so i have spanish on friday - 9-15 i have to be in the exam room ready for the 9-30 exam, so please be praying then!! thanks

over news = me and tasha are gonna turn the spark into a flame lol!! nobody is going to understand that but oh well!!

soooo annoyed

2006-05-02T17:06:00.000+01:00

i am really really angry. i was menna have my drama exam today....all day we got ready for it, we ran through it, we were ready to do it. the examaners came in at 2-20 and only wanted to see 2 out of the 3 groups....mine been the one they didnt wanna watch. so by the time they had watched those two groups it was 3-30 - time to go home. but we said oh we'll stay after school and do our exam cos it still needs to be marked by our teacher. and Miss said that was fine, and they would be back by 3-45....4.20 and they were still not back and everyone in the class apart from my group and 5other people left. 4-30 and Miss and the examaners returned....still needing to mark the people who did the costume option, so we were told to go home....i am so angry and really pissed off....we are menna probs do it on friday now - my spanish exam is on friday....i wanted time to clear my head and forget about drama before that. the whole equal oppourtinity thing at school....well yeah thats not happened!!! im not in a very good mood!!

girlies wouldnt we all like this....

2006-04-30T23:47:00.000+01:00

a guy....

who can wrestle with you and let you win.
who u can talk to about anythingwho laughs at your jokes
.the boy who puts your cold hands in my warm hoodie pockets.
who lets u use my sweatshirt for a pillow.
who buys u 25 cent rings,
who says i love you & means it.
who will kiss u in the rain,
in the sunshine, and in the snow.
whos calls unexpectedly.
who will have many inside jokes with u and remember each one.
who notices your changes in your hairstyle.
who realizes that girls say things but dont always mean them
who shows up at your events, slipping in the door.
who can tell you their problems and let you help.
who will listen to you talk-- about the new nail polish u got.
who will bring you seashells from the beach.
who will let you beat him up when you get angry.
who writes love letters to u, and waits til your mad at him to send them
who draws pictures and slips them gently into your locker slot.
who saves his genuine, big smiles for you.
the boy with deep eyes that can see through faces into depths.
who wears hats and lets u wear them too.
who gives u his t-shirt to change into and not expect to get it back
who knows your favorite color,
song, car, vegetable, perfume, and
the color of your toothbrush.
the boy who will shake your dad's hand and look your mother in the eye.
who will call you by your proper name
the boy who will kiss you and tell you that your pretty.
the boy who will let you cry to him.
who will squeeze your hips just right.
who surprises you and compliments you, and plays with your hair.
who knows when you have a math test or when you fail one.
the boy who smells like he just stepped out of the shower.
who wears cologne that you can subtly smell when ur leaning on his shoulder.
who tells you u have a nice laugh and a smile that lights up the room
and is simply yours to hold.

to every girl

2006-04-30T23:43:00.000+01:00

just read this...

To every girl that dresses cute not skanky.

To every girl who wants to be called beautiful not hot.

To every girl that will spend her whole day looking for the perfect present for you.

To every girl who gets her heart broken because he chose that bitch instead.

To every girl that would die to have a decent boyfriend.

To every girl who would just like once to be treated like a princess.

To every girl that cries at night because of another heartbreak.

To every girl that wont get down on her knees and open her mouth just to get a boyfriend.

To every girl that just wants to hold hands.

To every girl that kisses him with meaning.

To every girl who just wishes he cared more.

To every girl who would just once want a guy to give their jacket up when they are cold.

To every girl who just wants him to call.

To every girl who lies awake at night thinking about him.

To every girl that just wants to cuddle.

To every girl that just wants to sleep with him without having sex.

To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart out there again because she has been HURT tooo many times or so badly.

To every girl who shows how much she cares and gets nothing back.

To every girl that thought maybe this one could be the one.

To every girl that believes in her dreams.

To every girl that would do anything so she could achieve those dreams.

To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff when she actually doesnt think it is funny.

To every girl who is just looking for that one and only and is having a rough time along the way.

To every girl that has been cheated on because shes not a slut who gives it up to any guy.

To every girl that doesnt want a guy who just plays with her emotions but actually cares about how she feels.

To every girl who wants words backed up with actions.

To every girl that fell for all the lies only to find themselves alone in the end.

To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face.

To every girl that has the guts to stands up to a guy and says ur not gonna mess me about again

today couldnt have got much worse

2006-04-30T22:28:00.000+01:00

today has been crap. im not going into detail but i am really fedup. especially with someone. i need to forgive them though and i know i need to but im just annoyed and hurt with something they have done. but il get over it. but yeah today has been rubbish. and im quite fedup as you can tell.

whats the most important thing in a friendship?

2006-04-30T14:37:00.000+01:00

was one of the questions everyone was asked at encounter....for me its TRUST. that is so important, to be able to trust your friends and them be able to trust you, i struggle a great deal with this like most people know, i find it hard telling people things and knowing it will not go to anyone else....however it made me think today....you know when people know something to do with you and you dont know it....and they are challenged about whether or not they should tell you....thats happened with two of my friends...and they did tell me....and i am really pleased they did, yeah they didnt want me to be hurt but im pleased i knew insted of not knowing, id have been more annoyed and hurt to have found out that they knew and hadnt told me. but you see the devil is trying to attack me, hannah and tasha in as many ways possible...just as things start to go good between us, the devil tries to fire something at us and ruin our friendship, hannah and tash had to deside if they were gonna tell me what they knew and im pleased they did. ive been thinking this afternoon and reflecting as encounter today was about choices and were we need Gods wisdom....and i was thinking about choices in general....either we make the right choice or we dont....and sometimes we know what is right or wrong and other times we dont. i guess me, han and tash have the choice....to fight against the devil and stick together and forgive each other when things go wrong, or let the devil win and let our friendship be defeated. i know what choice i want to make....to keep going....to keep being strong and to win. ive written a prayer for me, tash and hannah and our friendship.....

my friends, my angels, my support, my family.....

Father, i pray for me, tasha and hannah, that you be there with us, you dont let anything come inbetween us that may ruin our friendship, i pray father that you look after us all and protect us. just be there and let us be honest with eachother, let us be truthful to one another and let us challenge each other, when we are hurting allow us to be honest and to tell one another what is wrong. let us share our joy aswell. father be there with us and look after us. i thank you for my friendship with hannah and tasha, i thank you for giving me such amazing friends, who do love and support me through everything, good or bad, happy or sad, they are always there for me and i thank you for that father, i thank you that when things are hard they are there for me to run to and seek help and advise, i especially think of today and it been 2years since grandma died father, and i just thank you that hannah and tasha are there for me. Father just protect us all and allow our friendship to grow stronger. give the 3 of us wisdom and work in our friendship. father i thank you for the great people hannah and tasha are and pray you pour your love upon them and me.

amen
--x--

2years tomorrow

2006-04-29T23:10:00.000+01:00

its two years tomorrow - 30/04/06 that my nan died. its gone well quick....ive been thinking about it a lot this weekend, and me and dad had a really long chat about it yesterday....this time two years ago was the noise weekend, me and tasha had just become friends, and it was great to have her their to support me. the song - " i can only imagine " reminds me of my nan....cos the day she died, i was at the noise celebration and that song came on and my nan was a christian and i was like wow shes expericing all this song is saying. i listened to it tonight on my ipod in the car and thought back of the memories. cant believe how fast the last 2years have gone, feels like it was only the other day.

i can only imagine....

"I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by Your side...
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see, when Your Face is before me!
I can only imagine. I can only imagine.

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

I can only imagine, when that day comes, when I find myself standing in the Son!
I can only imagine, when all I will do, is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus?
Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine!
Yeah! I can only imagine!

what the site has to say about all 12 in the series....

2006-04-27T15:52:00.000+01:00

video we watched today - kickball.

We always think we know what’s missing from our lives in order to really make us happy, don’t we? If only I had that car, or that job, or if only I could lose those 15 lbs, then I’d be happy. Really? How often do we want something only to find out that it wasn’t that great after all? Sometimes we ask God for things and if he doesn’t deliver right away, we start questioning whether God really understands or even cares. Do we really trust God? Do we trust that God is good and sees a bigger picture than we ever could? It’s easy to want what’s right in front of us, but maybe God knows what’s better for us, and sometimes we just can’t see it.

video on forgivness that we watched (luggage) -

Maybe a friend turned their back on you. Maybe someone you loved betrayed you. We all have wounds and we end up carrying around these things that people have done to us for weeks, months, and sometimes even years. It isn’t always easy to forgive these people and after a while these hurts can get really heavy. So the only way to feel better seems to be somehow getting back at the people that hurt us, to get revenge. But does revenge ever truly satisfy? Maybe forgiving isn’t something you do for someone else to let them off the hook. Maybe forgiveness is about you. God didn’t create you to carry these wounds around. God created you to be free.

other videos in the series -

RAIN
things don’t always work out the way we want them to, or the way we think they will. Sometimes we don’t even see it coming. We get hit with some form of pain out of nowhere leaving us feeling desperate and helpless. That’s the way life is. Still, it makes us wonder how God can let these things happen to us. How God can just stand by and watch us suffer. Where is God when it really hurts? Maybe God is actually closer to us than we think. Maybe it’s when we’re in these situations, where everything seems to be falling apart, that God gets an opportunity to remind us of how much he really loves us.

FLAME
I love those shoes. Really? The same way I love my wife? What’s up with the word “love”? It doesn’t have much meaning when we use it so loosely. Maybe we don’t really get it. Maybe we don’t understand what real love is. What it involves to really love somebody. What it means to give yourself to someone else. We mistake things like friendship, commitment, or lust for love, but God wired us a certain way to experience all that love was really meant to be. Not to hold us back or to make us miss out on the best that life has to offer. God created love, and wants us to feel it all in the way it’s meant to be felt.

TREES
We want to know why we are here. If our lives really matter. How our religion is relevant to this life. Today. We want to understand what significance this minute, hour, week, month, and year has to our lives.To our world. We need a God who cares about this life, in this world, right now. We want to understand why everything we think, everything we say, and everything we do matters. We don’t want to just sit back and wait for something to happen or someday to come. We want to know if all the choices we make now will shape our world and lives for eternity. Because we want our lives to have meaning today, and our lives today to have meaning forever.

SUNDAY
Why do we do the things we do? Why do we go to church or give money away? Because we’re supposed to or because we think God needs it? Do we honestly put on our best clothes for an hour once a week, stand and sit at all the right times, and sing all the appropriate songs for God’s sake, or because it’ll make us look better to the world around us? We’re tired of all the empty rituals and routines. And so is God. God hates it when we call ourselves Christians but ignore all the things he really cares about. He hates it when we go through hollow religious routines out of some feeling of duty or obligation. God doesn’t want the meaningless rituals. God wants our hearts.

NOISE
Why is silence so hard to deal with? Why is it so much easier for us to live our lives with a lot of things going on all the time than to just be in silence? We’re constantly surrounded with “voices” that are influencing us on how to think, feel, and behave. Movies, music, TV, Internet, cell phones, and a never-ending barrage of advertising. There’s always something going on. Always noise in our lives. But maybe there’s a connection between the amount of noise in our lives and our inability to hear God. If God sometimes feels distant to us, maybe it’s not because he’s not talking to us, but simply because we aren’t really listening.

DUST
Believing in God is important, but what about God believing in us? Believing that we can actually be the kind of people we were meant to be. People of love, compassion, peace, forgiveness, and hope. People who try to do the right thing all of the time. Who act on the endless opportunities around us every day for good, beauty, and truth. It’s easy for us to sometimes get down on ourselves. To feel “not good enough” or feel like we don’t have what it takes. But maybe if we had more insight into the culture that Jesus grew up in and some of the radical things he did, we’d understand the faith that God has in all of us.

BULLHORN
God loves everyone, so a Christian should, too. In fact, Jesus said that the most important thing in life is to love God with everything we’ve got and love others the same way. But it’s not always easy to love everyone around us, is it? Sometimes we strongly disagree with other people’s political views, religious beliefs, behaviors, or something else, and it makes it hard to love them when we feel like we’re right and they’re very wrong. But Jesus doesn’t separate loving God and loving others. So maybe the best way for us to show our love for God is actually by loving other people no matter how hard it sometimes is. Maybe it’s the only way.

LUMP
A lot of us have done things in our lives that we’re ashamed of. Some are small things, and some of us have really big and devastating things. Some of us even have things that people close to us don’t know about. Personal junk that we keep to ourselves so we don’t have to deal with it. Because we don’t know how to deal with it, do we? We’re afraid that if we try it’s just going to make everything worse. But no matter how big our junk is, no matter how much what we’ve done has impacted the way other people feel about us or how we feel about ourselves, it hasn’t changed how God feels about us. God loves us, he always has and always will, and there’s nothing we can do to change that.

RHYTHM
What does it mean to have a relationship with God? What does it look like? For a lot of us it’s a hard thing to fully understand. If God is an infinite spirit with no shape or form, how can we possibly relate to that? And what about Jesus? He said he came to give everyone life in its fullest. He came to show us how to live. Maybe it’s through trusting Jesus and living the kind of life he taught us to live – a life of truth, love, justice, compassion, forgiveness, and sacrifice – that we have a relationship with God. Maybe the way we live every day, every single choice we make, determines how in tune with God we are.

MATTHEW
Suffering the loss of someone we love can be the most difficult thing in life to deal with. One moment we have them and the next they’re gone. What are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to feel? The truth is, there’s no certain way we’re “supposed” to feel. Whatever we’re feeling, it’s okay. It’s okay to feel shock, anger, denial or whatever we may feel. It’s okay. And if we don’t feel anything at all, that’s okay too. It’s okay to have no answers and no explanations. Because sometimes all the reasoning and comforting words in the world just isn’t what we need. What might help us however is to understand how Jesus dealt with this kind of loss.

sorry if you havent found these intresting guys, but i did and i wanted to have something to read over....you may wanna view the website as you can watch clips of the videos.

www.nooma.com <--- series we have been watching

2006-04-27T15:41:00.000+01:00

we watched a video today in alpha....the same series as that other video we watched on forgiveness. the video was really good, again it spoke out to me. there was an example of the guys little kid wanting something from the shop and him saying no as it wasnt practical for a two year old to play with, but there was kickball the little boy had wanted a few weeks prior, and the guy took his son and brought him that. it was saying that the little boys father knew better and wanted the best for him, this example was used to show God wants what is best for us....we watched the video twice and lots of things spoke out to me the first time so the second time i wrote them down and wanted to share them because they confirmed for me something ive been praying about....i prayed last night God would confirm to me what to do in the next few days as ive just wanted to give up with it, and this confirmed it.

God loves to give us what we want but sometimes God knows better. sometimes God doesnt give us things as God knows best and knows these things may make us miserable.

sometimes we have to WAIT.

sometimes we dont get what we want and we think there is something wrong with God and we ask God - how long do i have to wait for it??

when you are confused and hurt, ask yourself this question... Do i believe God is good??

God gives good gifts to those who ask and gives us things that will better our lives.

when you ask why cant i have what i want...you need to remember...God is good and has something better for us.

so the italic parts are what really spoke out to me, and it made me realise, God knows what is best for me, and wont give me things which make me miserable.

1 per night

2006-04-26T18:42:00.000+01:00

i have 5topics to learn for my spanish exam....will be tested on two, one i know, the other i dont!! there are 8questions for me to learn in each topic. so me and mum had a chat and im gonna learn one topic a night. we started tonight.....

so far i know 6 out of the 8 questions....not bad!!! so we are having break and im gonna do more after dinna!!!

tomorrow - topic 2
friday - topic 3
saturday - topic 4
sunday - topic 5

monday is bankholiday so i will be going over all of the topics and checking ive learnt them fully!!! im feeling a bit more relaxed now - thanks for praying guys =] x x x

stress stress stress!

2006-04-25T18:48:00.000+01:00

is what im feeling at the min, am worried about my spanish exam which is next week...ive just been praying that my anxioties will be replaced with confidence. and il perserve. i was reminded of something today though....i havent even done the exams and God knows the results im going to get, Gods planned out my future, God knows where il be in sept, where il be next year, where il be in 10years. and i need to lift up my burdens and worries to him. i just need to keep working, keep pushing myself and not keep getting worked up and worried. ive been praying lots about it and i realised today my exams have to be my priority, i cant keep chilling out and there are other things which ive been thinking about which i need to push aside til after my exams. so yeah prayers will be appreciated especially for my spanish exam which is either next thursday or friday ( we havent been told yet which is rubbish ) thanks guys x x x

sorry if ive been snappy

2006-04-23T22:03:00.000+01:00

this is to just say if general sorry if you've felt ive been snappy lately...as my exams are getting closer (they start week tues) im getting more and more stressed....mainly because a week on thurs i got my spanish speaking exam and the bloomin' stuff ive had to learn is not going in and what i have learnt i keep forgetting....so am quite worried about that! but drama is a week tues and thats all good, a couple more run throughs and we are gonna be fine!! tasha + hannah - im sorry - ive been a pretty crappy friend the last couple of days and not meant to be snappy.

prayers will be appreciated.

please be careful

2006-04-22T23:21:00.000+01:00

me, hannah and tasha went out tonight, and it wasnt a very nice night....we went to wigmore park and had some youths approch us and start on us, they took hannahs phone but gave it back and then followed us to asda. it wasnt a very nice night and was pretty frightening...didnt help that one of the boys who was there is in my year at school but has been kicked out and was been pretty rude. i was so glad to get to asda and see people i knew there and then hannahs dad came and got us. this is just a blog to say please be careful. God was protecting us tonight and we were lucky but please be careful. the funny thing is all of our parents had told us not to go out to the park and none of us had told each other until we got to asda!! so look after yourselfs guys and dont have your phones or ipods or what ever in your pocket cause thats how they knew we had phones as they could see them through our pockets.

mcdonalds....

2006-04-18T16:18:00.000+01:00

i need one more of each of those little sticker things and then il win a prize....so if you have any of the following would you please be kind enough to give them to me =] thanks!!!

*mayfair
*liverpool st station
*bond street
*coventry street
*strand
*malborough street
*northunmberl'd ave
*euston road
*old kent road

thanks lovely people x x x x x

wow....

2006-04-15T11:06:00.000+01:00

my exams start in two weeks on tuesday!! i hadnt realised quite how soon they were!! i was looking through my diary last night and then realised!! eek!! this holiday has gone so fast, its crazy how quick its gone. the next holiday and my exams will have already started and the holiday will be spent of me revising - hmmm fun!! the holiday has had its ups and downs but over all ive enjoyed it...ive done quite a lot, ive been to london to see blood brothers, ive been to watford, seen narnia, spent a lot of time in town! chilled out with friends and been into school! so yeah its been a pretty good holiday over all!! now its gonna be time to work hard and not go out as much. have a great easter everyone x x x

check this out, would post the picture put it doesnt want to let me add an image....!

Narnia by SBC....

2006-04-15T11:00:00.000+01:00

stopsley baptist church put on a production of narnia which i went to see yesterday. it was really good. lots of hard work had been put in and you could see the work each and every person had put in. the show was good and loads of people turned up to come and watch it...my idea of getting there at 6-30 turned out not to be a stupid one!! although we were there before the doors opened there was still a que to get in!!! i really enjoyed the show and just wanted to say a big well done to everyone at SBC and to claire for directing the show.

the trio are back....

2006-04-11T23:17:00.000+01:00

me, hannah and tasha have sorted things out and just so everyone knows we are back and things are sorted =] lets try not to argue again!!

x x x love you girlies x x x

1st march

2006-04-10T23:48:00.000+01:00

that was the day i started lent.... i know it is suppose to finish on easter sunday but i desided to finish today, after exactly 40days and nights...for me this year, lent was teaching me not to take the things i have for granted, to appreciate the luxereys i have and when i were to have them again appreciate them and to continue to appreciate them. i just read something a girl from school who i used to be really good mates with wrote...and it made me think...id posted her a comment 53days ago and so much has happened since then. we havent fallen out but she has loads going on in her life and i guess we just havent made the effort and so we have really drifted...but when i read it i was taken back to friday and jasons talk...when he said whats makes a good friend....i havent been a good friend to her...i should have been but havent been and thats my problem no one elses. and i guess now as school is rapidly drawing nearer to an end, i need to restore my friendships with those who have supported me through loads. yeah we move on in life, but i still think you should be there for someone and support them and show them you care. jude did a sermon a few weeks back about in 40days you can get a new habbit or lose a habbit, and thats so true...and ive got about 40 school days left and those 40days are gonna be like lent in someways again for me....im gonna make sure im a good friend to people and those people ive drifted from, make the effort to mend the broken pieces.

powerful

2006-04-10T23:05:00.000+01:00

is one word id use to describe infinity tonight. we worshiped, then we were given a dirty nail, it was our sin and it made our hands dirty, we sang light of the world and then watched Jesus being crucified with no sound on and had to meditate. then we had to go and nail the cross into a trunk of a tree and listen to the sound and think of the nail going into Jesus' hand. after we did this we washed our hands and had them dried for us and were told"your hands are clean, Jesus forgives you." i found it really powerful and very moving. read these words we were given...

TODAY....

i can overflow with GRACE because God has lavished His grace upon me and i am saved by His grace alone.

i can overflow with LOVE to others becuase He has loved me first and placed His Holy Spirit within me so that no power in Heaven or on Earth can separate me from His love.

i can overflow with MERCY because God has been generous and merciful to me.

i can overflow with THANKFULNESS to the glory of God for it is His will that should give thanks in all circumstances.

i can overflow with FREEDOM because Jesus has set me free.

i can overflow with PEACE because in Him there is peace.

i can overflow with PRAISE to him becuase He is worthy of all honour glory and praise.

i can overflow with the abundance of God's LIFE because my old life is crucified with Christ and renewed into new life through Him.

i can overflow with JOY because He speaks His Word to me and i rejoice in Him always, Let joy be a barometer of my faith.

i can overflow with BLESSING because God has blessed me in Christ with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places, for there is no condemnation for me because the inheritance i have received cannot spoil or fade.

i can overflow in CONFIDENCE because God has called and chosen me and He is for me so who can stand against me?

i can overflow in VICTORY because He has the victory and He always leads me in triumph in Christ Jesus so that i am more than a conqueror through Him.

i can overflow in FAITH because i believe God's Word and inherit His promises.

i can overflow with RIGHTOUSNESS because i am made righteous in His sight and by the Christ that lives un me.

i can overflow in HOPE because of Jesus Christ in me the hope of glory.

amen

have i done it??

2006-04-09T23:09:00.000+01:00

have i pushed you away?
have i hurt you?
have i said something wrong?
or is it something im doing?
cos it hurts so much
and it feels like ive done it
that im doing something wrong
that im losing those i love most
what have i gota do to change it?
i need you to tell me
all i want is to stay been your friend
but do you want that?
im sorry.

first week - OVER

2006-04-09T22:39:00.000+01:00

the past week has had its ups and downs. cant believe how fast its gone already...one week left and the holiday is over!! ive done quite a lot this past week and have quite a lot planned for next so its gonna go pretty quickly i guess.

i havent really got anything i want to blog about....so i just thought id post a simple blog to say hello. got things on my heart id appreciate prayer for but at this moment in time i dont wanna share them...God knows what they are though and thats all that matters.

PART ONE!

2006-04-08T11:34:00.000+01:00

im doing the last piece of coursework now....and its drama!! drama is 3stages...

part 1 - comparing the piece your doing and another piece..so the two pieces im comparing are blood brothers and blue remembered hills (the second one being the piece im performing for my exam)

part 2 - team work

part 3 - the actual exam

so right now im doing my part 1....really cant be bothered...ive got my notes infront of me and now i need to write it!! the good thing with the part 1 is you can improve it as many times as you want....the total mark is out of 10. so yeah writing it now...hmm pretty boring!!

when it all hits home....

2006-04-07T22:39:00.000+01:00

osmosis was good tonight...we watched our movies and oh were they funny!!! and then jason spoke and it gave me a lot to think about...we did a thing at the start where we said to someone what makes a good friend, so i was chatting to matt about it and we had a pretty good chat and said what makes a good friend to us....then jase spoke about knowing about God and actually knowing God. he gave us some examples of things about knowing whats right and wrong and spoke about a toy car with no batteries and how it works better with batteries and how our relationship with God is better when we know God not just knowing about God. he then asked a question....whos ever been lied to? and did it hurt? man how it made me think about certain things and YES it has hurt and somethings still do. what a simple question to ask but thinking about it after he asked it....so many things came into my head and really did make me think. he also spoke about how if we know God we have the best life. we worshiped God after and i just gave so much to God...the songs we sang were about "you are my rock in times of trouble" and "almighty God" and "i have no-one in heaven but you" and "who was and is to come" but i just feel there are people who have lied to me and hurt me...especially recently and you know when you find out about it and it hurts, real bad and you dont know what to do...whether to ask the person about it and be honest or to forget about it? and you just try and brush it past but you still think about it...guess i gotta pray on that one!!

went to school today for drama....we were there 10 til 3! but we did loadsa work and i feel confident about my exam now...we were also marked on our part2(for those of you who didnt do drama at school or Alevel basically its team work) and so we got our final mark for that and were able to run through our GCSE piece twice with no stops before we went home!! so after a lot of hassel with that its finally done...so we know the little sections we need to work on before our exam and then it'll all be good!!! but i have got carpet burn and i did hurt my leg!! haha, but never mind!

ALSO the mcdonalds things....i know the LCET workers eat mcdonalds!! guys please can i have your vouchers!!! i wanna win something!! haha.

the adventure of Briggsy and Claire....

2006-04-06T19:24:00.000+01:00

me and claire went to london today to see blood brothers. was really good...we had to ask 2 guys selling papers how to get to the theatre though and claire had to buy a paper from one of them which was pretty funny!! we then got to the theatre after getting the tube for no reason as it took us further away from the theatre!! we got there with 5mins to spare and got our seats. it was a really good show, ive been it before but needed to see it for my drama GCSE exam as i need to write about it. the bit at the end always makes me jump where mickey and eddie get shot! on the way home it was quite a laugh, we ran to catch the tube and caught it fine....though we didnt have much personal space and then when we got the kings cross we found out our train home was in and ran and got there JUST in time....the doors started to close on me as i got on!!!! but we had a good day and it was fun!!

mcdonalds monopoly...

2006-04-06T10:53:00.000+01:00

as sad as this is gonna sound....if you have mcdonalds in the next couple of weeks and get the monopoly things and you aren't collecting them...would you like to be kind and give them to me!??!

basically i need like one of each colour or something for the good prizes!! =]

haha how sad do i sound!!!!!

how i HATE tape players!!

2006-04-06T10:15:00.000+01:00

well for my lovely spanish speaking exam i have my questions recorded onto tape....but i hate taper players!! for a start i didnt even own one anymore and had to go and buy one...£5! not bad really when they used to be like £30!! ha...but anyway...from not using a tape player in years...its not so easy to use!! i'd forgot how you have to keep turning the tape around when you have rewinded it etc!! argh!! would be so much easier on cd or on my ipod!! i also have the fear that im gonna end up losing all my questions cos the bloomin thing will chew up the tape!! so i hope it doesnt!! right ok...got it working...listening to it now!!

adios!

The car wash experience!!

2006-04-05T15:11:00.000+01:00

me and mum desided today that the car was in need of a clean and we've said for ages we will go and have a car wash, so today we did!! it was quite amusing. mum looked so worried as the machine started to clean it and there was one point where the machine looked like it was gonna go straight through the windscreen!! was quite funny. but the car after the car wash, does not really look that much cleaner!! ha. but it was quite a laugh to have the car wash. dont think mum will be taking the car for another anytime soon though and she was not impressed with how it cleaned the car - a waste of a fiver!!

other news - i brought narnia on DVD today!

drained..

2006-04-04T14:38:00.000+01:00

is how im feeling. im so tired. didnt sleep well last night. got up and revised this morning and then went for lunch with mum and debbie(my bros Fiancé) was nice to just chill out with them and take our minds off things. ive been listening to worship this afternoon and just singing out praises to God. i think God really was reminding me of something last night and the chat me,mum and deb had at lunch confirmed it....life is to short to argue. who knows what is going to happen tomorrow, or the next day or the next. remember me saying about that video we watched a few weeks back at alpha that was the theme of that video and i feel God just saying to me sort things out with those i have problems with. let them know i still love them, let them know im sorry, let them know they are special, let them know im still speaking to them. on sunday i think was the start of that. i was praying for someone last night who i havent spoken to in a few weeks, and i know i need to talk to him, i know i need to sort things out with him properly and ive gota trust God to give me the chance to do that. i was talking to hannah this morning and was saying to her about how God will let something happen if God wants it to happen and God knows what is best for us and when things should or shouldnt happen. ive just gotta wait for that time in some of the situations and really trust God to be there and trust that God knows what is best.

sometimes we think we know best, we know what we want to happen and get annoyed and upset when it doesnt. i read someones blog today...and read some of the older posts and i guess it made me think how sometimes we get annoyed when we dont get the outcome we want...even if we may know in our hearts it is the right outcome if we dont get it....

but God knows best. and i guess we have to learn to trust 100% even when it can be really hard to do and when we dont want to because we arent getting what we want. i can think of things in my life that i want to be happening that arent but i know God has a reason why they arent happening and they may happen, they may not, but i have to trust God and just wait....

think ive been challenged a lot lately, about waiting and about trusting God 100%. think God is just tapping me on the shoulder going "come on gill, just trust me and wait and be patient, ive got it all planned" and so i need to do that!!

ive had a lot of deep chats with people the last few days, ive got a lot of things off my chest that needed to be said and im pleased they;ve been said. they havent been the easiest conversations to have, and i havent enjoyed having them, but i think they had to be had and its good they were.

so now is the time for me to trust 100% with the situations ive got, especially a certain one, but i know God is in the centre of it and is working there and ive just gotta wait for the outcome. whether it is the outcome i want, i dont know, but i know whatever the outcome, it will be the best for me as God has it all planned....

il get by with a lil help from my friends....

2006-04-03T23:02:00.000+01:00

so yeah when you have loads going on in your life all you want is your mates to be there and support you. and i think my mates have done a pretty good job. guys i wanna thank you all for praying for my family at this time and thank you all for just been there and for continuing to pray for me and my family =] you are all really special and i love you all x

when praying at infinity for my family - all i could see was BRIGHT BRIGHT YELLOW and it really was making my eyes sting how bright it was but i couldnt open my eyes but when i did i felt peace.

really though - this is a blog to say thank you, for the love and support from everyone at this time.

infinity has mypace!

2006-04-03T23:00:00.000+01:00

well seeing as i found out so many people read my blog who i didnt actually know did - i would like to ask you all to view this website....

http://groups.myspace.com/infinityluton

issues getting sorted...

2006-04-02T22:41:00.000+01:00

you know when you know you have to face up to something even when you really dont want to. well i felt God making me face up to quite a few things tonight. hmm...there has been things on my heart for a few weeks with different things ive needed to face up to with different people. i went round my friends today(hi saph!) and we had a long chat about things which was really cool and i feel we've sorted out problems and now are close again which is nice. and then tonight....i felt God telling me i needed to address my problems with hannah and tasha and be completly honest with everything. so thats what i did and thats what they did. for an hour and a half we spoke about everything and i mean everything, some things were said which we probably didnt wanna hear but they needed to be said in order to clear the air and im glad they were said. there was one other thing i felt God telling me to do....which ive done and now ive gotta wait for the outcome...am worried about it and scared about it and i hope i havent messed things up by doing it. but i felt that it needed to be done. so im feeling more at peace now, and i hope that now when ever i have a problem with someone it can be spoke about and sorted. theres someone i know i need to speak to still and ive just gotta wait for the right time and trust God...

new blog yet again!

2006-04-02T14:57:00.000+01:00

my mate saph has made a blog..so read it!! dont worry she aint really weird! we just enjoy taking the mic and catching jokes! so read her blog! x x

http://soup-saph.blogspot.com/

THERES A NEW BLOG FOR YOU TO READ

2006-04-01T20:54:00.000+01:00

my friend phanny gaynor aka naomi has made a blog!!! VISIT IT AT http://www.naomi-choud.blogspot.com be there or be square!!

HEAR ME

2006-04-01T17:31:00.000+01:00

was the exhibition LCET put on. it was about self harm and art work done by those who self harm. it was so moving to wonder around listening to an audio that had been put together by young people who self harm. it was so upsetting to hear what they said and to look at the work that had been produced. i found it really intresting and really moving. i know people who self harm and never had thought much behind the reasons why, but listening to the audio made me think about those i know who self harm. the one thing that well stick was - IM THE SAME AS YOU... BUT WHEN YOU HURT YOU TALK... WHEN I HURT I CUT. a really intresting exhibition and very emotional.

view either Chris or Toms blog or visit the LCET website as they have things about the exhibition on them.

its amazing how....

2006-03-30T15:44:00.000+01:00

somebody or a group people can have such an effect on you. one of my friends at school is feeling so down, we walked home together and walked to school together today and were talking about how she is feeling, shes written the girl involved a letter to tell her how she feels and how shes feeling treated by her and her friends. she let me read it, i could have cried, to read how she feels, theres so much she has bottled up and i just feel so sorry for my friend, watching her at school, shes not herself, and the teachers had noticed it too. we've all told her the people involved arent worth it, we leave so soon and for her to just enjoy the last couple of months. ive chatted to her lots about how shes feeling and have invited her bowling with infinity tomorrow night, she said shes allowed to come so hope she does =] told her after school il be praying for her, shes not a christian but she smiled and said thanks.

but watching how shes feeling and thinking back to when i was feeling down a few weeks ago its amazing just the effect those closest to you have on you. guess its cos you spend lots of time together and they are the people you tell things to etc etc.

school finishes tomorrow for 2weeks. im so looking forward to having the break, i know im gonna be revising each day for a couple of hours but im looking forward to being away from everyone! thats sounds pretty harsh i know but i feel everyone needs their own space. its the same every end of term or half term, people get annoyed at each other and they want the break. everyones tired and things are sometimes said which arent meant!!

ive had a thumping headache since monday, its weird though - i only ever get it from lunch time til about 4.30/5 and then it goes.

hope everyones alright. x x x

sleepy!

2006-03-28T20:35:00.000+01:00

i am actually shattered tonight!! have no clue why either!!! think its cause the end of term is getting so close. had a interview with my head of year and headteacher today to discuss how things are going at school - was a follow up from the last interview with them. they both said im on track and they think il do really well in GCSEs. so that was nice to hear. had our last prayer meeting of this term and one of the teachers who comes to it is leaving on friday - will miss her, i always chat to her after our meetings about school in gerneral as she is really easy to chat to and when i went she said gill your gonna do great in your exams and i will be praying for you. was really touched. awah!!! - im chatting to my friend on msn and as her pe practical gcse exam didnt go to well for her today and she just asked me to pray for her. bless. another one of the girls i was chatting with who i hang around with prayed last week when i was with her and asked me to pray for her. its so encouraging that the girls i hang around with are really seeing God in me and asking me to pray for them. i got my exam timetable today....its quite scary how soon they are....5weeks and they start, two weeks of that is holiday! eek!! so yeah that was my day!!

the awkward silence

2006-03-27T16:07:00.000+01:00

dont you hate it when that happens!! there is a girl in my year who ive been good friends with since infant school but lately we havent really been chatting much, since highschool we have hang around with different friendship groups and we used to chill out on weekends or after school. but lately we havent really spoke much. its weird....i guess its cos neither of us have made the effort, we are working together in our drama gcse exam but when we arent doing that we arent really chatting except the odd hello here and there if we see each other. shes changed big time as have i. but its so awkward when we have the silence!!! lol.

nap time

2006-03-27T16:05:00.000+01:00

i am SOOOO tired today!!! all weekend ive had lots of energy and been wide awake but this morning as i woke up i wasnt that tired but wanted to stay in bed!!! as the day has gone on at school, ive felt more and more tired!!! think il be having a early night!!

selfishness....

2006-03-26T22:31:00.000+01:00

stop, take a minute, look around. think about the things you've got and then think about things others have. so often we complain. we have food, but complain we want something different, we have a roof other our heads. ive been thinking a lot lately. i complain so often about such stupid things. i have a family who loves me, i have a roof over my head, i have food to eat, i have an education and the list continues....

i take it all for granted. i think of people who live on the streets or have no family to love them. or who have a family member ill. i complain when i argue with my family but what would i do if something happened to one of them. i take them for granted, i take all i have for granted. i need to stop being selfish and appreciate all that i have.

when i did the famine last year i appreciated so much more the food i had on my table. as easter approches im thinking of doing a famine again, for myself, so i apprecaite the food i have. ive complained about not being able to eat crisps and fizzy drinks but they are a luxerey that i have.

so this blog is really to say appreciate what you have...yesterday i was bit fedup as i had had an arguement with my dad and brother and was sitting in my room thinking about things, and im going to leave you with the thought id have....

you dont realise what you have, until it is taken away from you....

low but not no more....

2006-03-26T22:21:00.000+01:00

lately ive had a lot on my mind, ive felt quite fed up and down about a situation going on in my life, ive been doubting and thinking what if this happened or that happened, or if id said this or said that.... these words from a song i was listening to the other day sum up how i had been feeling.....

Everybody’s talking
But they don’t say a thing
They look at me with sad eyes
But I don’t want the sympathy
Its cool you didn’t want me
Sometimes you can’t go back
But why’d you have to go and make a mess like that
Well I just have to say
Before I let go

Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
What you did was low

No I don’t need your number
There’s nothing left to say
Except I never thought it'd hurt this much to be saved
My friends are outside waiting
I’ve gotta go

Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
What you did was low

those are the words that made me think and reflect...there are more words to that song but those are the ones which made me think...

then tonight at church i was praying....praying about how ive been feeling lately, praying God would reveal to me what was happening in that situation. im not going into any detail about the situation, but i prayed and prayed tonight that God would show me in the next week something that is happening so my heart could be put at rest. after about 2minutes of finishing praying, the prayer was answered....

God is awesome and has given me a real peace now in my heart about the situation and i know what im doing is right.

long time no say...

2006-03-26T12:52:00.000+01:00

so i havent blogged for a few days!! things are pretty much the same. got into both the colleges i applied for some an chuffed with that. nothing very exciting has really happened. friday was quite eventful at lunch with one of my friends splitting up with her boyfriend and then his group of friends and my group of friends having a massive row. a few of us just sat there not knowing what to do or say. so was an eventful lunch with lots of pretty nasty comments said to and from people. i just sat there and in the end took myself away from it. me and naomi have given ourself a moto....

the naomi and briggsy moto - i want a man not a boy who thinks he can!!

its a bit of a joke we have but it made me laugh when she thought of it.

yesterday me and mum spent the day together shopping. was really nice. i love spending time with my mum and we have got so much closer lately as time has gone on. its so nice now, we used to argue lots but we dont anymore and thats really special.

encounter was good this morning, me and jason did the cell together and were talking about actions that show we are a follower of Christ and how its easy to speak about it but do our lives reflect what we say. was intresting to listen to what the others had to say.

so thats been my week pretty much. nothing very exciting. but we break up for easter on friday! waheeey

bus drivers - you've gotta love em!!!!

2006-03-21T18:42:00.000Z

the last four occassions ive travelled to town from my house, ive been charged three different prices...now hang on a minute....isnt there a set price you are meant to be charged?! the first time i was charged 50p because i had my connexions card i was charged half fair, that i was fine with!! the second time £1...hmmm....full fair still not too bad. but wait, yesterday i was charged £1.40?! thats 90p difference from last week!!! and then today i was charged £1 again....each time its been a different bus driver....but i said to the man today that i was charged £1.40 yesterday and he said that it should be £1 at the max and with my student connexions card thing 50p!! so i was riped off yesterday!!! yeah i sound like a cheap skate!! but i dont care!!! i need my money and every lil penny makes a difference!!! wonder what il be charged next time i deside to use the bus to go to town.....

ive missed them.....

2006-03-20T22:35:00.000Z

a few boys in my year i used to be really close to, they were my best mates but then we drifted quite a lot but lately we've started chatting again and that friendship has started to rebuild. i walked home with one of them tonight and although he was being lovely and annoying for a while he soon became nice and me and him have had lots of chats on msn lately! and then just now ive been chatting to one of them on msn, and he goes luv you xx he hasnt said that for a while!!! before you start thinking, let me make it clear I DO NOT FANCY ANY OF THEM! im saying that cos im fed up of people asuming i fancy every boy i speak to! they are just really good mates. and ive missed spending time with them. i think God is really showing me at the minute people i need to make effort with again so we stay in touch when we leave, cos me and these guys used to chill out loads and havent for about 18months so im just gonna pray now and see if its right for us to start chilling out again and if so that it will happen.

theres just no point....

2006-03-19T23:00:00.000Z

all i want is to be your friend
for things to be how they were before
but it feels like theres just no point
what ever i do or say
you dont wanna no, u dont seem to care
im sorry if ive hurt you
but you've hurt me too
i dont know what ive done wrong
but i wanna know
maybe if i knew i could change it
maybe i could try and fix it
but until you tell me what do you want me to do?
i make the effort i try and be friends
but it doesnt seem to make any difference
theres still a reason to argue
still a reason to disagree
im sorry
maybe one day we'l sort things out
maybe one day things will be how they once were
but until that day
if theres any thing i can do or say
please tell me.....

Hmmm....

2006-03-19T22:39:00.000Z

times of need are the times they say you most need your friends. and i guess thats the time when you find out who your real friends are....thats something that was said to me last week. but its true. when things are crappy all you want is your mates to be there, to be there beside you and to make you laugh and carry you along. as a lot of people know....ive felt quite down lately. one thing after another and its all built up and got on top of me....still kinda feels like thats happening, but im not gonna go in to detail. but tonight at elbow room, we were singing and i just fell to my knees bowing down in praise....

il pour out my heart to say that i love you
pour out my heart to say that i need you
pour out my heart to say that im thankful
pour our my heart to say that your wonderful.....

i NEED God right now, this is a time when i can praise for all the good things that have happened but when i also need to stop and ask for help. ever had the feeling that someones annoyed at you but you dont actually know what you've done wrong?? cos im feeling like that with a few people at the minute and id really like to know what it is that ive done wrong....

i havent give this blog a title, cos i dont really know what to title it as....thats why ive called it hmm cos thats what im thinking at the minute, lots of thoughts and questions running through my head....and im wondering will they get answered....

so lets just wait and see shall we....

one down...one to go

2006-03-17T08:18:00.000Z

had my first interview, it went really well. the lady who interviewed me was really nice and gave me some helpful information. think they gonna offer me a place as when i went she said to me look forward to seeing you in september. my other interview is next wednesday. ooo thats the biggy! i really wanna go there.

me and mum went shopping after my interview which was fun. i got loadsa nice things which was really nice of her to buy me and it was fun just for us to chill out. both of us are so tired at the min and i enjoyed spending some quality time together.

hannah - glad your having fun in florence.

have a good weekend everyone xxx and happy st paddys day! xxx

wheres the time going?

2006-03-16T16:17:00.000Z

is it just me or does time seem to be going extremely fast?! i cant believe the weekend is almost here already, its crazy!!! so much to do and such little time to do it now!!! ahh dear!!!

anyway i have college interviews now, got the dates for them, one is tomorrow and the other is next week, i want to go to the college where i have the interview next week, so hopefully it'l all go well. ive just been preparing for the interviews. finding out things i need to know and printing things off to put in my progress file!!!

i was writing a good post but i cant remember what i was writing about as i had to save this as a draft as my bro needed the computer and then i started doing other things that i had to do and i have forgotten what i was gonna blog about!!!!!

todays been ok. the weeks not been anything special. im amazed how fast the time goes by at the minute!! its quite scary. well this post is quite boring!!! hope everyone is ok. xxxxx

last holiday

2006-03-14T22:35:00.000Z

went to the cinema tonight with tash(thanks for treating me honey), havent been to the cinema in a while, i love going to the cinema and have missed not going but i havent had the time nor money to be able to go. we were gonna see date movie but it started to late so we went and saw last holiday insted.

it was a really good film, about a christian woman who was told she was gonna die in the space of 3weeks due to tumors showing up on a brain scan. she therefore did lots of things she wouldnt have done in her life, she spent her money and didnt hold on to it, she made the most of what she had and lived life to the full. to cut a long story short, it turned out the machine was broken which did her scan and she wasnt gonna die after all but she had learnt from it not to hold on and to make the most of her life and what she had.and making posibilites become realities.

i really enjoyed it!!! theres quite a few films coming out soon that i wanna see, so guess i better start saving or find someone who has the orange wednesday thing. actually....my mum,dad and one of my bros have phones on orange, maybe i should use their phones!!!

regrets and mistakes....

2006-03-14T22:30:00.000Z

so you know when you say or do something wrong and you regret it? you have a discussion with someone and you dont keep your mouth shut cos you know what they are saying isnt completely right? you lose the friendship you used to have due to arguements but you still love them, you still wanna be mates with them but you just dont know what they expect you to do or what they want you to say.

we all make mistakes, we all do things we regret, but im not angry at the person, there has been a lot of hurt caused and sadness but it doesnt mean i dont love them. i still love them. i still wanna be mates with them. i just hope they know i am sorry if ive hurt them, and if they are reading this.....then im sorry. and i hope one day things will be sorted.....

the small things mean a lot....

2006-03-13T16:06:00.000Z

one of the girls i hang around with today was so lovely, 3 of them went off with the boys and i stayed with this girl and we just sat chatting.....chatting about everything. i was telling her about the weekend away and how it has made me think a lot and what i got out of it, i was telling her why i believe in some of the things i do, what ive been learning about at infinity and how its effected my outlook on things especially school and the judging and bitching side of things. we had a really long chat....

but why did it mean so much.....because she had the choice, follow the others and go with the boys or sit and chat and just chill out. the fact the chose to chill out meant a lot to me.....

weekend away....

2006-03-13T16:00:00.000Z

it was really good.....i got a lot out of it. we talked about building up community and fellowship with one another and those around us. there were teachings on these things and the teaching ended with andy challenging us = are we going to tell our friends and family what we did this weekend and what we learnt, are we going to invite them along to encounter/infinity/osmosis or will we just forget and move on and not learnt from our teachings. it was fun getting to know people and just have a laugh with one another. lynsey did a talk about fellowship and gave each of us two words - before she gave the paper out with the words on it she prayed God would give us the right two words we needed to work on....my words were honesty and identity.....the honesty part i definatly knew why it was for me and what i needed to do....it meant lots of tears were invovled for me over the course of the weekend but i feel so much better in myself now that i was honest and spoke with people about what ive been struggling with - friendships. the identity part im praying God shows me what its about. so yeah a great weekend and i am very tired with having about 8hours sleep in the space of 48hours!! so tonight is going to be taken up with sleeping i think!!!!! thanks to all the leaders for putting on a great weekend :+)

animal cruelty....

2006-03-09T18:52:00.000Z

We have been doing about animal cruelty in re….each week for the past 2weeks we have spoke briefly about it and then watched a video…each week the video we watch is more graphical and is horrible to watch…last weeks video wasn’t to bad. We saw a pig have its throat slit and we saw a rabbit have experiments done on it ( the rabbit bothered me more than the pig probably because I have rabbits) today though the video really struck me….we watched about how the animals are treated because secret filming was done, the animals are hit, kicked and treated awfully. Chickens are stuffed into draws and driven away for their killing. The video really wasn’t to nice, but it was biased our teacher said(who’s a vegetarian) as its trying to put you off meat….

We are going to be watching a video on how dogs are treated next week I think, im not looking forward to it, apparently lots of people walk out or sit there in tears. From having a dog myself I cant imagine what sick people out there do to animals….and watching the video shows some of the things which happen….for example apparently this dog gets beaten up for not doing as the man wants.

People I know who have already seen this dog video said its sickening and quite disturbing to watch. So guess will wait and see next re lesson.

Also learnt today organic and free range meat products are not much better….organic has less chemicals but conditions they live in still awful and free range foods means they have slightly more room to move but still not much….
From being a meat eater made me think a lot. Im not going to become a vegetarian but it just made me think about what it was saying on the video and also it said about how many cows, sheep ,pigs, chickens, turkeys, fish etc we eat in our life time!! Quite a shocking number for each but I cant remember of the top of my head the numbers.

alpha....

2006-03-09T18:13:00.000Z

lasted about 20mins today but was SO good. we watched a dvd some guy has made on christianity, it was mainly about forgiveness....about how we need to forgive others...sometimes that means forgiving but not forgetting and sometimes we cant face seeing them anymore, but still in our hearts we need to forgive them....the dvd was getting to the point that what if you dont forgive someone and its to late for either you or them and one of you dies for example. then what? we need to forgive those who have hurt us today and let them know they are forgiven,it may take a while but start today was the message of the dvd....

so yeah i found it hitting home, especially with friendship situations at the minute....and my friend who comes to alpha with me said to me after that it reminded her of my situations!! so i think Gods telling me to do some serious thinking and forgiving.....

so claire told us to go away after watching the dvd and think about it for next week where we gonna watch it again and talk about it.....am really looking forward to the session next thursday. think this session is really gonna speak out to me and be useful....so watch this space......

early night!

2006-03-08T17:36:00.000Z

had my early night last night, went to bed just after 9, i was shattered!!! and im still quite tired now even after sleeping for ages!!! had about 9 and half hours sleep in total! think its probs cos i dont go to bed early normally, it made me more tired as i was out of my rountine!!!

theres no way of hiding.....

2006-03-08T17:22:00.000Z

people can look at you and think your fine, unless they know you well and can tell from how your acting that your not ok, as far as they know your simply ok and nothing is wrong and everything is happy dappy!! well....at infinity when we were praying, we looked into the window at our reflections and i felt God remind me, that people can look at you and all they get is what is on the outside, for example if your smiling, then they think things are fine...but not with God, no, there is simply no hiding, "you search much deeper within, through the way things appear - your looking into my heart" are the words ive just been reminded of whilst listening to matt redman - heart of worship. i think God is really trying to remind me and tell me to be honest with those around me, to tell people how i really feel. i cant hide it from God and i think God is telling me to stop hiding from those around, how i really feel.